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Nature Vs Nurture

PrincessmollySenior Contributor08 Sept 2016, 1:11 pm AEST

Nature Vs Nurture

I am just wondering if there is anyone here who had an idyllic childhood and still has a MI? I have always refused to blame the past for my present state but now im not so sure. Here are some of my life events in summar;
- physically and emotionally abused by mother till age of ten.
- grew up without mum from then on in a very rural area with a emotionally absent father. We never did any extra carricular activities
- withnessed my uncle sexually abusing someone and told my parents resulting in breakdown of our family unit
- was assulted by one of my dads "drinking buddies" took me months to tell my dad who thankfully belived me and beat the guy up and threw him into the street.
- dad has refused to have a single friend since as he says he cant trust anyone. I feel like it is my fault he is basically a hermit.
- went through a extremly promiscous stage after moving out of home at 16 after my brother gave me a black eye. Couch surfed for a while then moved in with a 28 year old man...i was 17....
- spent 2 years in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship.
- left and got an AVO after i was publicly assulted by him
- spent another 8 years with somene who never planned to marry me because im not good enough for his family and broke my heart.
- quit my job went to uni and slept around for another couple of years before dating a guy who was completley unsuited to me. I cheated on him and lost all of my friends and became homless overnight
- had a year of singledom then met my hubby. We became friends before dating
- a couple of my immediate family members died that i was very close too in a short space of time
- had a baby and then a mental breakdown that i am still struggling with years later.
There is heaps more that i wont go into but yeah. I wonder how my life would be if that didnt happen

5 replies

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In response to: Nature Vs Nurture

KurraSenior Contributor08 Sept 2016, 6:33 pm AEST

Re: Nature Vs Nurture

Hi @Princessmolly

I had an idyllic childhood and gre up in a remote rural area. Despite this I developed bipolar between the ages of 4 and 5. My life has not been an easy one but my parents taught me the skills necessary to continue moving forward. My parents have since died but what they taught me allows me to continue striving to be the very best I can be in everything I do.

I had an appalling day at work today and I'm feeling very fragile. I contacted my psychologist and he hss phoned me a couple of times today. Knowing that his support is there for me means the world to me.

My life could have been very different and I do have regrets but I cannot change the past. I can however change my future and this is what I work at doing.

My children have all grown up now but how I wish they were still little people. Enjoy your little one because they grow up all too quickly. 💕

In response to: Nature Vs Nurture

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2016, 7:33 pm AEST

Re: Nature Vs Nurture

hi @Princessmolly, reading this post helps me alot as i to had a really hard childhood too unfortunately i cant answer your question but i can help you to know you arent the only one to go through lot so here is my life events -

-started being sexually abused at age 3 by my bilogical father who is also my mothers step father

- mum took us took a caravan park to hide from him but fell sick we were locked in there for 4 days before we were found

-sent back to bio father

-he was caught just before i turned 5 by that time my mother had 4 of us

-went through court at just 5 and still do to this day he was given a 25 year lock up for 14 counts of rape including my mother and i

-shortly after mother had a mental breakdown and i was put in foster care away from my siblings

- was shifted from home to home till i was 7 when i was placed in a church home

- swore at a nun and was locked in a room for 3 days with nothing but bread and water and a bible

- mother found out and won us back through court

- went back into my mothers care to find out she had 2 more children

- sexually abused by my mothers partners friend for 6 months before she almost overdosed and sent back to foster care

- put in a home with a few other girls around the same age made really good friends with one of them

- at 9 we were walking home from school when we were pulled behind some and raped

- 2 months later my friend killed herself and i was the first one to find her dead

- i went into a deep depression

-6 months after her death i tried to commit suicide but failed noone noticed my injury for 2 weeks

- i was put into hospital for 6 months and released back into my mums care

-raised my siblings by stealing money from my mum to get stuff they need and get food

-i was 12 when i was summond to court for my bio fathers porle appeal he won it

-started a new school and met my partner we stared datin 2 months later still together

- i still go to court every 1-2 years over him

- 16 had my first anxiety attack which my teachers thought was a heart attack

-19 had my little boy

- 20 my partner proposed

-21 my mother borrowed $2500+ and has never paid it back

-22 had a lot of anxiety attacks

-23 (now) diagnosed with ptsd, gad, social anxiety and panic disorder

In response to: Re: Nature Vs Nurture

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2016, 10:26 pm AEST

Re: Nature Vs Nurture

Hi @Princessmolly,

This is a great discussion point/question that you are posing and it one that is much debated. There are certainly arguements for both nature and nurture and some arguing that it can be a combination of both. Hopefully we can get some other people's opinions on this topic, as it is such an interesting discussion.

As @Kurra has mentioned, you can have a good childhood and still be diagnosed with a mental illness.

I would just like to remind everyone also that sometimes listing your traumatic life events in such a way can be triggering for others as well as yourselves when reading back over the posts and we would like to keep the forum a safe space for everyone, including yourselves.

What have other people's experiences been in terms of mental health and your childhood experience? Hopefully some other members can share their views

Rockpool

In response to: Nature Vs Nurture

Unknown userMember09 Sept 2016, 5:28 am AEST

Re: Nature Vs Nurture

Hi @Princessmolly i had a pretty stable trauma free childhood but still have a mi. I'm not sure it was idyllic but in the scale of things it was ok. I think both play a big part. 💜😊

PS however from what I've read childhood trauma definitely makes for a challenging adult life which often involves MI. I think the odds are stacked fairly highly that there will be some kind of MI but it doesn't guarantee it in the same way as having a good childhood protect you from it. Not sure if that sentence makes sense😏

In response to: Re: Nature Vs Nurture

AppleblossomSenior Contributor09 Sept 2016, 5:46 pm AEST

Re: Nature Vs Nurture

I think it is harder to know how to love and have a lot of the skills for parenting when extreme things occur in childhood. My ex had a reasonable childhood and catastrophised his difficulties while he was a young man and then recanted that when he became old. Individuation and finding one's way out in the world is still very difficult. His issues were due to rivalries and ambitions in his family ... still difficult to navigate. ... There may be aspects of strength and determination that are developed though exposure to adversity .. eg what doesnt ki-ll me makes me stronger. Except that I dont like GLIB use of that saying as I witnessed too many deaths. At the moment I am reading about "Fear and Trembling" ... even just on wiki ... I wanted to read Kierkegaard for a while ... so its on my list. In some ways it comes down to the basics of the human condition ... its just that the more privileged often have more tools to protect their vulnerabilities and dont have to take on as many shocks and "insults" as the marginalised and downtrod. Great discussion

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