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Something’s not right

I should talk about it.

I should talk about it.

TRIGGER WARNING - CHILD ABUSE SUBJECT.

Even though I have things mostly under control, I can't say I haven't been affected by the last couple of months. This is me trying somewhat to let my guard down.

There was a huge experience in my life where I got involved in the protection of two young girls. 2 and 4 years of age. I couldn't stand by knowing what was happening and not do anything. I assure you no one, not a single person was doing anything to protect these two little girls. It was a decision I made to step in. I will not go into details, I will just say these two little girls were being abused heavily by both parents.

These people I did not know, they were complete strangers. A very long story cut short, the two girls are no longer with their parents. They are in their grandparents care now. I have met the grandparents and I can rest easy at night that the girls are safe, loved and we'll taken care of.

I didn't stop to think about me. It took alot to get these girls into their grandparents care. I did have to go to court to get a VRO for myself for my own protection as I was being threatened. The VRO was granted. I wasn't afraid for life in the least. I wasn't afraid of these people even though they both have many convictions and are dangerous. I just had no fear.

It's still ongoing but I have less of a part to play now. I did what I needed to do. While it was all happening, I had to get again deal with my own experiences of my childhood coming up again. I had to check in with myself often that I was doing it for these girls and bit my own selfish needs for healing. It was hard to think sometimes.

There were also times where I was not happy with who I bad to be and the things I needed to do. I'm in a space now where I am able to reflect about it.

While this was all happening I also was having major issues with the new house I moved into. Long story cut short I took the owner to court. His property manager went to court for him as it was managed through a real estate. It was over a two month battle. I did win. However there was alot of bullying happening and I really bad to fight.

As it stands I'm reporting all parties in detailed and official complaints about breaking tenancy law etc... I've also started up my own online newspaper as a result of it and am going to write an article about it. I'm an ex Senior journalist.

I will also be going to the local member of parliament here and telling them very directly what happened.

I'm done being bullied, abused and I am tired of injustices.

I no longer live in the property. I'm in a better house now. I'm very tired in so many levels. I kept my career barely going while all this was happening in my life.

It's been really hard and I have alot to reflect on. It has definitely changed me and I will not be going back to who I used to be.

21 replies

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In response to: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

Hello @Powderfinger

That is one heck of a heavy load to get off your chest. My goodness you're brave, are you ok? I am so sorry to learn of this. It must have and would still be extremely difficult.

Those two beautiful girls, you've saved them @Powderfinger . They will have better lives thanks to you. You really are an Angel 💕

In response to: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

Nothing but admiration here for you @Powderfinger Take good care of yourself while you reflect on it all. Good to see you opening up a bit here too, I hope you feel a little lighter for it and continue to share your journey

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

I'm at a point now where all these things are coming to a close for me @Anastasia

My brain needs time to understand this. My life since April 8 has been all about the things I've spoken about in my OP. I think I will be OK as long as I put a strong focus entirely on myself now.

I want to be kind and good to me. Gentle. I have dealt with so much harshness and abuse since that date. I'm trying to reframe thus now so I can rest and recover.

I need time to process about these girls. Yes they are safe now. That is good. The grandmother speaks to me alot. At the end of the day I am not family so the decisions they make, they must make. I'm trying to tell myself and remind myself that my only job was to get those girls to a safe place and to have a better life. I did that.

I know I've done a good thing. Some people knew what I was doing. Not to the extent but I mentioned it. The thing is most people are very self absorbed in their own stuff. I don't care much for it.

I don't know how to give myself credit for what I did. I think I just got used to ignoring anything good about myself. In some paradoxical way everyone ignored the good anywhere in my life for a very long time so I eventually did the same. I treat it as nothing and get on with my life.

I have to remove myself emotionally and mentally now. I did what I felt was right, the girls are safe and in custody with grandparents, my job done. I don't know how to talk about what I did and allow myself for it to be about me too.

Thank you for replying. Xx

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

@saltandpepper

Thank you. It's going to take a while before my body and soul feel lighter. This is a good start though. I'm taking time out now to take care of me, rest and recover. I'm looking forward to just alot of me time now. I will write now and then. Thank you for your support.

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

@Powderfinger

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

You certainly deserve that time to focus on your needs @Powderfinger go slow and take good care of yourself. Will be happily reading along with your journey. I must admit I did notice your absence and was hoping to see you back here

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

I just want to say a big thank you for all those little girls out there. For those like a lot of us here in the past, for those in the present and in the future. You are a true HERO. I don't say that easily @Powderfinger

i think this is said far too much these days and as lost some of the prestige that it deserves. It takes courage to do what you did! Be very proud of yourself you deserve it. Thank you 💞🤗

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

Agreed @Former-Member 💕

Thank you @Powderfinger 💪✔️💐🎁💕

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

@Former-Member

Well it is nice of you to say. Thank you. I do not see myself as a hero. I just cant manage to. I don't know how to think of myself like that. I need alot of time to reflect as this was very very recent. There were many reasons I did it for. It is hard now because I have to keep out of it. The girls are safe and they are going to be OK.

Closing the chapter and moving on I guess. Sometimes its good to do things quietly. I am not expecting anything in return. I think what (among) many things that came up was my feelings that I am invisible/unseen. Then I think, well I have made myself that way really, I can hardly complain that people do not see.

Thank you though for noting that I did a good thing.

Powderfinger

In response to: Re: I should talk about it.

Re: I should talk about it.

Thank you gorgeous @Anastasia

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