Mood swings/short fuse

Hi @Princessmolly, I was at the end of my tether this year with being unable to find help and the help I was receiving was causing more harm than good. It sounds like you really could do with a break and an admission somewhere to help work out which way is up and give yourself a chance to breathe.

As far as getting help I don't believe that the professsional needs to feel it to connect and help but they need to connect to you and understand what is really going on for you. Admittedly the two professionals I've connected with had both suffered depression before and had moved on from it so it did help a bit BUT I connected with my last psychologist after one session as she seemed to pick some really important things about me that I hadn't realised yet and I respected her kindness and manner. She was very caring but I still blew that because I wasn't really in a place to take on everything. She taught me so much about myself but I never really got to begin to heal with her. I was totally devastated when she ended our therapy. That taught me that I had to work harder and try to change.

It then took forever to find the one I have now and I think that having made so many mistakes and getting caught up looking for a magic wand made me realise it was up to me to do the work. I'm finally beginning to see the road ahead and it's not paved with gold or never will be. It sucks because it's things like do the basics of self care but it is also about finding ways to catch ourselves before we do things we'll regret or try to sit with the emotional pain and ride it rather than react.

I feel like there are lots of small parts of my life changing but for me it began with the decision to begin to really try in a way I hadn't before but also to have faith and hope that I can be better. If you ever read any of my posts you'll know I am still just at the beginning stages and still get caught up living in my head but I guess it's happening less. Im still messing up the mum stuff with my one remaining child aged 16 but I'm getting it more right than wrong just now even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it. And that's all we can do, get it right more than wrong.

The other thing that's helped me heaps is to follow a few peoples journeys (sorry for the cliche) and see how their lives are changing for the better and the work that they are doing to make the changes. That always gives me hope and inspires me that I can do this too, it's not just for everyone else. The one common thing though seems to be finding the right match with a professional to guide us through. I really believe you can do this without medication, that you can find a better version of you that you can live with, that's what I'm hoping for for me, just to be able to live with myself and be ok with who I am warts and all. So I wish you the very, very best because you can do this and you can have a better life. I have so much hope for you. Take care @Princessmolly💜😊

Hi Princessmolley. OK so lets start on this long, and at times,painful journey I took, which you can too.

1. Can you accept the fact that when you and I were v. little & good looking, that we had no option but to copy our parent/s value systems. The good and the bad. When we were little we were convinced that our Mum and Dad were always right. For most people go on to believe that in adulthood - and repeat all the mistakes their parents made - caus they still don't have any better role model, and are intolerant of any criticism of their parents. Now look at your p[arents and realise they were not perfect.

2..Look hard and long to find a spot where you are convinced your parent/s did wrong. Talk about it. toss it out, now replace that deed with the right attitude one. This is just so scary! If you toss out all these bad values you will have absolutely nothing left to stand/rely on. You may feel you are going to be completely abandoned. Nevertheless this is the key starting point - allow yourself to conclude you did indeed copy and learn ahuge amount of crap from your parents. Enough for now. See how you go/digest this. Next I'll deal with the healing value systems subject to your reply. Nearly80

Hi @Princessmolly,

I'm sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you right now, and you feel like you are at breaking point. Those feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness sound really overwhelming right now.

I'm wondering, how have you gotten through difficult times like this in the past? I imagine there are many strengths from your previous experiences that you could draw upon now.

We're here for you @Princessmolly. Try to be compassionate to yourself

Take care,

Shimmer