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I'm just saying hi.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor25 June 2021, 9:26 pm AEST

I'm just saying hi.

Hello,

I have not been here for five months. My own choice. I decided to pop in tonight and say hi. I was going to talk about something but now I don't really want to.

I have changed a lot in the last five months. I also had another mental breakdown recently. That is five in the last year and a half now. I think I am finally in a safe space home wise. I keep waiting for something to go wrong. I have managed to get myself solo. It is hard, I am in a hard place. I so very much want company. I just don't know how to do company. It is challengin when youa re facing your demons, why you struggle with things.

I realised tonight that I struggle being around other families if they invite me over becaue I feel like I am in the way. I feel worried that I am going to overstay my welcome. I try read the cues when people want me to leave. When I do read it right, I have this sad feeling in my heart. Sad because sometimes I want to stay and sad because I am woried I spent too much time there and I wont be invited back. I realise I am like this because of my parents. Different things they did and said. It is irrelevant now what they did and said. I cant change that. I am trying really hard to fix these parts of me because I do not want to live like this.

Anywa, just dropped in to say hi. I am not sure if I will drop in regularly or not. I am not travelling too well right now and am working on getting my life straightened out and trying to figure out who I am. The last few months have not been pretty.

Powderfinger

Powedrfinger

18 replies

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In response to: I'm just saying hi.

AnastasiaSenior Contributor25 June 2021, 10:20 pm AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

@Powderfinger 🙏💕

In response to: I'm just saying hi.

AnastasiaSenior Contributor25 June 2021, 10:36 pm AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

Look who's here!!!!

😁😄😄

@Zoe7

@Snowie

@Judi9877

@TideisTurning

@Former-Member

@ShiningStar

@26aqua

@Bunniekins

In response to: Re: I'm just saying hi.

OaktreeSenior Contributor25 June 2021, 10:40 pm AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

Hi @Powderfinger

I am here if you feel like chatting

Meggle

In response to: Re: I'm just saying hi.

OaktreeSenior Contributor25 June 2021, 10:45 pm AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

Hi @Powderfinger

I was just reading through a thread that you typed on that belongs to @saltandpepper. I was wondering if you ever did trauma therapy and if you did how you found that? I am going to be starting trauma therapy in the next month or so and I am terrified.

Meggle

In response to: I'm just saying hi.

Unknown userMember25 June 2021, 11:07 pm AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

Hi and welcome back @Powderfinger i do hope you found your psychologist to be a good fit, and how is your carpentry and antique restoration going?

sorry you are feeling down I do hope you speak to sane helpline for some extra support. Wanting,needing company is a necessity for all humans. You have at least friends here. Take care 💙

In response to: Re: I'm just saying hi.

BunniekinsSenior Contributor25 June 2021, 11:55 pm AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

Hi Anastasia I am back after 5 weeks in hospital.Thanks for the shout out hunny.. Love you peaxxx

In response to: I'm just saying hi.

saltandpepperSenior Contributor26 June 2021, 7:58 am AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

I'm sorry it's been so rough @Powderfinger I hear you loud and clear on the challenges that go along with companionship.

Well done on being able to see the connection from the past to present re your feelings of overstaying your welcome. I hope that now you've recognised where those feelings are coming from you'll be able to find a way to overcome it.

Feel free to tag me if you ever need a chat, I'll be around 👍

In response to: Re: I'm just saying hi.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor26 June 2021, 9:03 am AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

@Anastasia

You are so sweet

In response to: Re: I'm just saying hi.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor26 June 2021, 9:10 am AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

@Former-Member

Hi and thank you. I no longer have apsychologist. I finally decided that it isn't right for me at all. It doesn't matter to me what everyone else belives, it only matters to me what I believe is right for me and it isn't right for me. I have taken a different path and it is actually so muvh more effective and it is working well for me.

As for my carpentry and antique restoration, I still do it but I do not fix things up for people anymore. I have not had time lately as I have been really busy with other things but I still love doing it. I just keep it as a hobby for myself now.

Yes, I have some wonderful friends here, I am very blessed. You take care too.

In response to: Re: I'm just saying hi.

PowderfingerSenior Contributor26 June 2021, 9:20 am AEST

Re: I'm just saying hi.

@saltandpepper

I know that I actually made a very conscious decision to heal. Thankfully I have always had a good sense of awareness. Sometimes I wish I was not so aware. The world and people can be ever so painful. I am learning so much at a rate that sometimes I cannot manage myself.

I think I will find a way to overcome it. I feel also it is about defining my own life and the way it fits for me. It is such a big thing to go through. Some people want to be surrounded by lots of people when going through it and some people want to be a bit more solitary in going through it. Neither is wrong or right.

Likewise, feel free to tag me if you need a chat.

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