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Does your psychologist do this?

PatoSenior Contributor12 June 2021, 6:49 pm AEST

Does your psychologist do this?

Hi all,

So I'm super curious to learn of other people's experiences with their psychologist. I've become a bit confused about where the boundaries lie sometimes and get caught by surprise that X is ok by Y is off limits.

Does your psychologist...

1) tell you that they care about you? Mine does.

2) hug you? Mine doesn't.

3) self disclose their mental health challenges to build bonds and peer work? Mine does.

4) let you call them outside of appointments? mine doesn't.

Would appreciate your perspectives.

Thanks,

Pato

13 replies

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In response to: Does your psychologist do this?

LokisonContributor12 June 2021, 7:03 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes, but I hate it when anyone does that, it feels like they are minimising my own challenges by making their sounds so much worse.
4. Yes. Mine allows me to call. They don’t always pick up but will usually call me back with the hour regardless of the time. They have a life too.

In response to: Re: Does your psychologist do this?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor12 June 2021, 7:20 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

Great question.

@Pato

I have always respected their time, and only phoned one who suggested it, and it was after 3 years with that person. One suggested emails, but did not always respond, so I stopped.

@Lokison I have noticed some aggressively reveal their own challenges in a way that minimises, and others who actually did it in a way to reach out relate and normalise. A lot depends on how in tune with the client they are.

In response to: Does your psychologist do this?

Zoe7Senior Contributor12 June 2021, 7:59 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

Hey @Pato I haven't seen my psychologist for a while but when I was seeing her she did not hug nor disclose anyhting about herself. We had a connection based on her professionalism, knowledge and her compassion. She did say she cared - which I totally believed (still do) and Yes I could contact her anytime through her personal number. Of course if it was during the day she would get back to me when she was available. I only called a few times when I did not know what else to do to survive - it really was a last resort despite her saying that is what she gave me her number for. My GP also gave me her number to do the same and whilst I did also see both as crossing boundaries I am also very glad that they did as it helped me to survive.

In response to: Re: Does your psychologist do this?

OaktreeSenior Contributor12 June 2021, 8:13 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

Hi @Pato

My psychologist has often told me that she cares about me which I have a hard time believing.

She has hugged me on two occasions.

She only tells me personal stories if it relates to what we are working on.

I can call her between appointments on her work number.
She also gave me a little gift to help me. Rose quartz.

Meggle

In response to: Does your psychologist do this?

Eden1919Senior Contributor12 June 2021, 9:04 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

1, yes sometimes but only in certain contexts

2, no but i would never want to hug them anyway and have never tried to

3, no they have not done anything like that

4, no but i wouldnt call them outside of appointments anyway i can email them though if i need to let them know i cant make it or something like that.

In response to: Does your psychologist do this?

bipolarbunnySenior Contributor12 June 2021, 9:45 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

Hi @Pato nice to meet you.

1. Mine doesn't come out directly say he cares, he doesn't need too as it's obvious through our communication and his actions that he does.

2. Has never hugged me. Don't expect him too, definitely wouldn't ask or try to hug him. I'd feel I was crossing a boundary.

3. Mentioned his ADHD in passing a few times in conversation (but never in detail) which I think was his way of building rapport and mutual respect with me.

4. I can email him outside of session and do so regularly with poems and breakthroughs or rough days, which he encourages, but he doesn't reply unless it's important. No phone calls outside of session, I probably wouldn't ring even if I could.

BB 🐰💙

In response to: Does your psychologist do this?

jem80Senior Contributor12 June 2021, 10:48 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

@Pato

1. I have found that all my psychologists and psychiatrists are caring.

2. Due to professional boundaries and policies no one hugs me.

3. Disclose of general mental health challenges to build a rapport yes.

4. Due to professional boundaries and policies I'm not able to call after hours. There is a dedicated phone number and service if that is the case and sometimes that is an external service.

Over the past 15 years this has remained unchanged. There are a number of aspects that remain unchanged due to professional boundaries and work policies. A professional can get into serious trouble if they over step the professional boundaries and work policies. This can be a penalty by Health Complaints Commissioner, Mental Health Commissioner or APRHA or other professional bodies that are involved with mental health. It can also include termination of employment.

In response to: Does your psychologist do this?

JC06New Contributor13 June 2021, 12:43 am AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

Hey Pato,
I see a social worker rather then a psychologist. But
1) yes she does. And it’s been a huge part of me getting to where I am now. I never had lost of positive relationships growing up. This has helped, especially with the trust aspect.
2) no never
3) she has once, as a reassurance that a situation I was petrified about was going to be ok (was in relation to a hospital visit that I was hysterical about, even though at the time it wasn’t a certain it was going to happen) for me it helped in that moment. For others it may not.
4) I text rather then call. But yes she does. Mainly at her request so she knows I’m safe. But I also know that if I needed to, even if she might not answer straight away (she has a life and family. I don’t expect her to answer or reply and she knows my thoughts on the topic) that she is there if I need her.

In response to: Re: Does your psychologist do this?

MazaritaSenior Contributor13 June 2021, 5:06 am AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

Hi @Pato interesting questions and answers in this discussion. My answers...

1) tell you that they care about you?

He is clearly a caring person. For me, he doesn't need to say it.

2) hug you?

I feel therapy is better without hugging. I like to keep that boundary myself.

3) self disclose their mental health challenges to build bonds and peer work?

I like that mine mostly doesn't.

4) let you call them outside of appointments?

No phone, only friendly organisational emails. I have rarely ever contacted any therapist outside sessions. There are probably other better people for me to contact in a crisis.

In response to: Does your psychologist do this?

saltandpepperSenior Contributor13 June 2021, 3:21 pm AEST

Re: Does your psychologist do this?

1. No

2. No

3. No

4. Yes

@Pato Never said the words that he cares but has expressed concern, tells me to stay in one piece etc and always reminds me to call if I need to

He is also open to me asking him personal questions, but he doesn't offer up his life stories unless prompted

Strictly professional, I respect and appreciate those boundaries

I think it's important to have those boundaries in place so there's no confusion about being in a therapists office vs being at a mates place

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