Fear of failure

Hi @Catiepiller ,

I do struggle with procrastination too, but mine is due to perfectionism or maybe fear of failure as well. But my main worry is that the work will not be good enough. So I kept postponing until the very last minute and just quickly complete it. It doesn't take long to get it done, but it will take long for me to finally sit down and get the job done. Perhaps I was just scheduling too much work and since I am still on the path of recovery, I should go easy on the amount of work that I take on. Or maybe I am just having too many bad days due to lockdown and rainy days. I do have this occasional down periods where I will just not be in the mood to do anything and need to go outdoor for some fresh air.

I am much better when I have others chasing me for deadlines, eg. tutors, supervisors, clients, etc. They kept me in a regular routine of work and study. I used to work on my own creating and selling artworks and my schedule and work volume were a complete mess. I just need people to check in on me to see if I am up to schedule with workwise.

I guess just take it easy in this life, one step at a time. Slowly but surely we will get there. For me, there's nothing to achieve really. I am just here to be a person of value, not success. So I appreciate the things that most do not and vice versa.

Hope you feel better. 🙂

Hi @Lilaca ,

I feel like this is more than procrastinating, the fear paralyses me. I dont have any control over it. I don't want to live like this, I have my kids to consider too. Why does it have to be so hard?

The heading caught my eye @Catiepiller

I have so much fear of getting things wrong at work; if being judged or talked about.
I also have a very strong fear of getting better in regards to my mental health. And the reason for that is that I would then lose my support staff eg psych etc.

I have BPD, cptsd, depression and anxiety.
tbe fear makes my anxiety super high and it feels like I'm living on edge all the time.

Omg, "living on the edge all the time" @BlueBay Yes! Isn't it exhausting!

Yes it's very tiring. Even during the night I'm waking up trying to "sort things out" in my head.
I need structure and if it's not I panic.
fear of failure is hard to get my head around.
Are you new here? If so welcome. 😊

Hi @Catiepiller ,

May I ask what is your line of work? Have you questioned yourself if this is still suitable for you - a career that you are passionate and worthy of pursuing in the long run?

I am sure it's not easy to release the fear. I understand fear can be paralysing as I have had that experience too. But I usually forced myself to get it done by deadline regardless.

Is there any activity that help you relax?

For me, once I get back to a bit of 'achievement', be it in something as simple as getting the house cleaned or cooking a new recipe or creating a new genre of artwork, I can transition to work easier after. But this is just for me, I am sure it will be different for you.

It's worth experimenting what works for you. Try new things or activities each day. You may grow new herbs, go kayaking, have tea party with the kids, etc. Every day will be a tiny bit of achievement and do remember to give yourself a pat at the back after. Hopefully you will feel more confident in tackling your work.

Hey there @Catiepiller,

I wanted to pop by to give you some support and let you know you are welcome to contact the SANE help centre if you would like some one-on-one counselling and suppport. The help centre is open Mon-Fri, 10am-10pm on 1800 18 7263. For 24hr support or crisis you can contact-

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

Take good care,

Sphinxly.

Hey @Catiepiller

Not sure what you do for work, but when I become stuck and my brain gets full of noise around failure and I can't concentrate on getting the task started, I listen to a comedy podcast to change my mindset (laughter is the best medicine) and then start to a soundtrack I know that will keep me pumped up.

Most times this kicks in the Fight instinct and I just start going at it with disregard to failure.

Mind you, I have to redo this regularly depending on my stress levels and if i hate the topic.

It would be great to hear what happens in the build-up to the fear? Does it start the day before, on your way to work, or just before the task starts?