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Rumination and Attachment

Rumination and Attachment

Hi guys I just got back from visiting a friend of mine. We had a good talk and she had some interesting things to say and I wonder how many of you can relate.

she says I tend to worry and ruminate on things because I am desperately trying to control things that I can't control. I do know that I am a control freak and feel like that comes from childhood abuse when everything was very firmly out of my control. She also thinks I ruminate because I am intelligent and my brain is bored with my mundane life.

Here is where it got interesting - she said that I need to stop getting so attached to people and things because basically all of life is an illusion. I find myself getting overly attached to people and relationships and then feeling loneliness and rejection if and when those relationships go away for whatever reason. I need to learn to just be content on my own and not rely on others for my happiness.

I am not materialistic but can be sentimental about some seemingly important things.

Meggle

20 replies

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In response to: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

@Oaktree

Hello Meggle

Thank you for your reply this morning.

I acknowledge your comments about your discussion with your friend and about the feeling that you have regarding her capacity to reach your areas of enlightenment and also concerns, as well as “blind spots”, that we all suffer from, in one way or another.

As I was writing my comment I had in the back of my mind that you, and various other readers, may have varying perspectives on the “beginnings” of our universe. And, I agree with you, that our discussion is not centred on the philosophy that I have alluded to in my response. However, those ideas were presented on that structure as a framework which could support my response. Any other framework might be equally suitable.

My questions were not intended to be critical in any way, but simply a means of understanding your point of view. So I very much appreciate your development of ideas in your response to my questions.

I do understand the religious philosophy to which you have referred. In fact, while my beliefs are not necessarily the same in all respects, I have the pleasure of fellow-shipping with people who hold the same, or similar views to which you refer. Shortly after I first asked if I could join that assembly of people, for the purpose of better understanding the source of knowledge, I stated that by my presence, my intention and wish was in no way to challenge the beliefs that the people hold, but to extend my own knowledge in that realm.

Now, I am pleased to have been included in the roster for presentation of preliminary discussion and preparation, and on another week the lesson. Many of the fundamentals, particularly in the way of living life are congruent with my own. All my source material for lessons comes from the central church documents and archives in order that the lessons that I present are consistent with the beliefs of the people with whom I meet, while still retaining the core beliefs, values, and expression of faith, that we have in common.

You and I have the same belief in a “Creator” and in our own spirit which {in its spiritual essence} continues on through eternity.

I hope that, in whatever way you may view my comments and “supporting framework”, they will give you some ideas about managing attachments. In a sense, I am not even afraid of challenging your ideas and thoughts, because from the way that you have presented your initial posts and responses, I am sure that you will use any challenge, as you describe having done before, to develop your present and future, in a meaningful and productive way.

I certainly look forward to future conversations with, what is now, I hope, a better understanding of each other's foundational beliefs and philosophy.

With My Very Best Wishes

HenryX

Edit & Note: Brackets added to {in its spiritual essence}. However, I am aware of variations in belief on the extention of the body as well as the spirit. And indeed, we are very likely to be sharing this discussion with people who do not believe in either or both of those concepts. I do hope that the discussion remains worthwhile in any case.

1:41 pm WAST 7 June '21

In response to: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment


@Oaktree wrote:

Wow @HenryX

I need to reread your response with a pen and paper in my hand. Stay tuned and I will think about it all and get back to you later

Meggle


Agreed. That was really prolific @HenryX. And, not a wasted word. That's some outside the matrix stuff right there.

In response to: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

Hi @HenryX

I too am aware of the differences in people's beliefs and it is not my intention to offend or alienate anyone. I believe that everyone has the right to their own beliefs.

Peace be to you and all who read this thread

Meggle

In response to: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

I sooo relate to this right now @Oaktree I am also a control freak Im trying to let go of emotional control but then end up taking back control too much today I did my best let go but now because of one small negative Im back to my same old negative thinking pattern that I need to be in control of things its riduculously frustrating cause I want to let go of responsiblity,I want to let go of control but the more I try to let go the more Im trying to be back in control again

In response to: Re: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

Hey @Oaktree

What is it about your attachment style that gives you comfort and also concern?

In response to: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

Hello. I am new to this forum and am very pleasantly surprised at the tenderness and insights of the posts. So many words of wisdom here, that are very reassuring. Thank you.

In response to: Re: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

@Jenn1

Hello @Jenn1

I thought that I had seen you're forum name at some stage since I returned to the forum in Feb this year. It seems that you may have been an active member in 2016, unless someone else has previously used the same forum name. Have you been active here more recently?

Originally, I joined in 2015, but did not proceed to being active. In fact, I had forgotten all about it, until I came to sign up in February '21 and found that I still had a forum name and password registered.

The interactions on the forum, in which I have participated, have been interesting and productive for me, as I hope my interaction and discussions have been for others also.

When I supported your comment, I thought, "Do I just leave it at that, or correspond with you?" I do hope that you will be able to respond. If you do, I look forward to sharing thoughts and ideas with you.

With Very Best Wishes

HenryX

In response to: Re: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

Hi HenryX. I have only just found your message. I have been having trouble working out how this site works. I have had ongoing professional help via a psychiatrist and being extremely introverted and people adverse in most circumstances, have been avoiding connections. However, I read something recently about ADHD and have been able to relate to every single sentence so am back to find out more.

Kind regards,

Jennifer

In response to: Re: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

Hello @Jenn1

Thank you for your message this evening.

I can assure you that you are not on your own with regard to

".....having trouble working out how this site works."

It has taken me quite a while to 'come to grips' with some of the issues and I know others have offered similar comments and observations.

I have just finished editing a copy of a post that I had written today, for New Members. It is quite detailed but I hope that it will be helpful for you and other members. By clicking on this link you will have it opened for you:

New Members - A few tips {Please keep this thread ...

I do hope that it helps. If you have any suggestions, I would be pleased to know of your thoughts.

Today, there was also a topic discussion on ADHD, which you can, if you would like, access by clicking on the following link which will open a copy of the script of today's discussion:

Re: Topic Tuesday // ADHD // Tuesday 22nd February...

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in my mid 40's, quite a few years ago. Today's discussion certainly brought to the surface some of the issues that I have experienced and faced. I didn't actively participate in the discussion, though I supported a few comments that were presented. For me, the discussion was somewhat unsettling - maybe "a bit too close for comfort."

I haven't gone back over all the previous posts in this thread but will since you have re-connected. Interestingly, just glancing back, I have noticed a few names of people with whom I have established a good rapport. So I am pleased that you have drawn me back here.

A cyclone, last May, caused considerable damage in the region in which I live. It also precipitated, for me, a situation where I realised that it was time for me, again, to seek outside assistance. Since then, I have been speaking with a counsellor, with whom I have established a good working relationship that, I believe, has been productive.

For much of my life, I have endeavoured to cope with introversion and sensitivity, particularly with some personalities. Interestingly, while my presence here on the forum has not all been smooth sailing, I do believe that I have found some attributes in myself of which I had not previously been aware. Some people have gently challenged and encouraged me to express myself in ways that I had not been accustomed to doing. So for me, I believe, that aspect of my activity in the forum has been personally beneficial.

I do hope that the New Member guide will be helpful. If you would like to alert me to a reply; In the reply box, enter the @ symbol followed by my pseudonym HenryX so that it appears as the forum address does in my sign off signature, @HenryX , and I will be alerted to your message. The same process applies to the forum addresses of other members with whom you may wish to correspond.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

In response to: Re: Rumination and Attachment

Re: Rumination and Attachment

Post entered in error and deleted

@HenryX

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