Busylady01Contributor
Hello, I'm back to try again
Hello SANE Members and Staff,
In 2016, I posted about my life and received a vicious set of attacks. I left the group immediately and did not come back, until now. I recently lost a beloved Chaplain job that in all honesty, I didn't think I would even get in the first place. But, I did get offered the job and was over the moon with happiness because of getting the job. I trained for the job and did all the extra first aid, CPR and Advanced Resus that were required to maintain the position. Several months into the 6-month probation period, my Team Leader started having a relationship with a 22-year-old girl and pretty much sat me on the sidelines to enable her to have all the important cases that came up. When I said something to him about it, he yelled in my face and told me that it was his choice on who got what around there. This wasn't actually true as we had clear guidelines for equal opportunities at work. After having two such conversations with him, nothing much came of it and he assured me that he was willing to move past our strong conversations. One day before the end of my 6-month probation, my CEO contacts me and wants an urgent chat about the probation review before it lapses. I agree of course, for who in their right mind would think that after going through Mental Health First Aid training just the week before, at their expense, that anything would be wrong? The interview went well with me, my CEO and my Team Leader on Zoom. That night was a work night and I went to lay down to rest when I received a call from the CEO asking if I had seen his email yet? I said no, I had been resting before work. Well, he said then, that my services were no longer needed and not to come to work anymore. I cried and asked why? what had I done wrong? and etc?? He simply told me that he was not at liberty to say anything except that the team didn't feel comfortable communicating with me. I was devastated. I was numb from my brain down to my toes. I felt empty inside and outside. I descended into a deep depression and in the space of two days, I attempted suicide unsuccessfully with pills. I ended up in the emergency department at the local hospital and then in the Mental Health ward for 10 days. I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD because this had not been the only disaster in my life, but one of many that I never had dealt with before. Now I am trying to bring myself back from the brink and am finding it very hard. My husband is constant support which is very good, as we had troubles a few years ago. However, we now have a better understanding and have learned to communicate better.
I am back here to learn about ways to live with Complex PTSD that resulted from child abuse in my younger years, multiple rapes in my 20's and marriage and relationship failures for the next 20 years until I met and found my current husband in Australia and found happiness with him.
Let me know what you do to get through each day and how you learn to let go of the past so your future can look brighter.
Kind regards and thank you in advance for your heartfelt responses,
Busylady01
