Hi @PAX1741 feel for you with this affliction and glad you receive support here and at A&E with a plan forward.
Iuse to think the thoughts were me. It's like a battlefiel in the mind sometimes, hard to know which side to take, what to act on at times (if any), more difficult when thoughts play with something essential like water or food.
I'm wondering if you were actually thirsty? Excess drinking is a sign of diabetes. If I were in your position I'd have a 2L bottle of water on the bench that I'd measure out to last the day & no more, cause 2L is all we really need when inactive. But, thing is, I find once I beat one thought a different one pops up.
A few years back my GP lent me a little book called TamingTheBlackdog...
It helped me see that I am not my thoughts and feelings. For years I'd pleed with people "but this is who I am..." I couldn't separate it for so long.
Another author - Equhart Tolle (?spelling) he helped me see it even clearer. It changed my life when I realised:
"I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS, I AM THAT PART OF ME THAT NOTICES THEM"
"I AM THE OBSERVER OF MY THOUGHTS"
Think it must have been the way it was said or something, but I finally 'got it' (the penny dropped).
As hard as it is, we have to practice saying "that's interesting" and not hook in or onto the thoughts.
I'm not sure why we sometimes get on the ride with some thoughts and not others (obcess and even act them out). It's exhausting at times keeping it in check, evaluating what serves and supports us and our values.
After a major loss, that person would talk with me a lot, but when the conversation got dark and torturous, I decided the process must be getting hijacked as this was not the beautiful soul I remember and thankfully, with practice, I could tell the difference and flipped off what wasn't compatible with how God saw me (with love, warts and all).
Anyway, sorry this is so long. Please be gentle on yourself, do the best you can, that's all we can do 💙
