Adult hyperactive disorder?

I am starting to get all these other little physical ailments all the time due to the exhaustion - your basic ear and throat infections, headaches, nausea from the adrenal overload... Plus the sense that, while I am extremely busy all the time and a typical over achiever, All those voices around me saying 'you're doing too much' might be right - the feeling that a crash is imminent. This sensation is odd for me because I've got a very healthy sense of my own abilities and confidence - I'm typically extremely optimistic and just get whatever I'm doing done.
I guess the thing that concerns me the most at the moment is that I'm feeling exhausted, yet my instincts are, the second I feel tired, to do something that will give me a rush of adrenalin to keep me kicking on. Like last weekend for example... Super tired because stayed up partying with husband and a mate, felt hungover next day, and my reaction was to force myself to do a 3km time trial run. Most ppl would be asleep on the couch, but I feel better somehow at full throttle or maximum exertion. And it's alright I guess except when it gets to now and I have virtually nothing in the tank, but just can't seem to stop 😞

Hi @PseudoPsycho,

Sounds like you're burning the candles at both ends. May I ask what it's like for you to put the breaks on and slow down? For some over-achievers, its common to feel like if you're not doing something, than it feels unproductive (I can certainly relate to this).

CherryBomb

I guess that's what I meant in the previous comment - the concern I have is that my instincts always tell me speed up not slow down. I get incredibly anxious and depressed mood-wise if I'm not doing something.

Libido and physical energy has always been crazily high, so nothing really caused that or changed that.
15yrs ago my mum was terminally ill with brain cancer. I was 19, and she'd been very unstable for around 5 yrs leading up to that. Lies, manipulation etc. it was really hard for me and my sister as teenagers to be believed by anyone about our home life because externally mum was a pillar of the community. I remember visiting her every day and going for a swim first to calm myself down before visiting her. With every freestyle stroke I did I'd plan out my day mentally, literally 5mins at a time. I had no money, and was living in a shoebox granny flat in box hill paying $50 in rent, and only earning $70 sometimes in waitressing.
When mum died I felt like a weight had been lifted, like I was free to work properly again, be social, etc. Previously while she was sick I was just too fatigued from dealing with it to even really converse with people beyond the bare minimum. All of a sudden once it was over, I was working 3 jobs, socialising, and felt like myself. I used speed for the first time about two months after she died, and immediately then used it very regularly for about 6 months, until getting myself cleaned up and going interstate for a few months.
I came back home and replaced substance abuse with fitness obsession, I ran every day, then worked on my feet all day for 12 hrs, then swam, or rode to yoga. I was dating a much older man (I was 21 and he was 37) and felt like I pretty much sold my soul to him. I thought that because I had done so many stupid things and he was so old and wise that I should defer to him and let him define me and my perspective. Since leaving him at 25, I got even more obsessed with fitness/running/boxing/dieting. I joined the police force, and worked in the city on foot for a year - I would typically run 8kms into work and then do 8-10hrs on foot working, then run home if it was a day shift. If it was a twilight I'd run to work, do the shift, and then go out to a rave nightclub for about 3 hrs and dance. Oddly, I never took speed again during that time, as the club owners knew I was a cop.
I moved to the country at 27, and met my husband. We got married within the year, and have been now for 7.5yrs.