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Waiting

chibamSenior Contributor24 Apr 2021, 5:13 pm AEST

Waiting

As much as you try not to dwell on it, it's invariably a stressful process, waiting for the beaurocracy to do it's thing. Checking every day to see if there's been any movement on your case; to see if you've recieved any correspondance to let you know what's happening. Wondering every single day whether or not you actually matter; if anyone's going to take any notice of you, or if you've just put yourself through the wringer for nothing.

I'm not even sure how much I'm aloud to talk about what's really going on, due to disclosure laws.

I've been through this process before. Long waits with no apparant legitimate justification. Watching other people jump the cue and get their resolutions before me. And then, at the end of the day, being just quietly fobbed off in such a way that makes it seem like there was a deliberate, strategic effort to make me as invisable as possible. Or maybe I'm just self-absorbed and paranoid. How can I tell? The egotistical never recognize their own failings.

And there's the whole dillemma of whether or not you send an email to people asking them about when you can expect to hear about some progress, and if so, how much grace period do you give them before doing so? There are no manuals for this sort of thing.

Insiders imply that the whole process is bent and biased, and the reality of going through it seems to support those claims, from my experiance. I'm certainly not doing myself any favors by putting myself through the stress of it all; but I can't ignore that timeless statement: "All it takes for evil to succeed is for good people to do nothing."

I just wish that more considderation was given to the effect of not knowing what's going on can have on people, you know? I just wish there was a little more transparency about what's going on, how long we might have to wait to see movement, and some reliable indication that we've been given our due considderation.

But I don't know. I'm probably just making myself out to be more important then I really am, in my own head. I suspect I do that a lot.

8 replies

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In response to: Waiting

JynxModerator24 Apr 2021, 5:55 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

Hey @chibam, just wanted to pop in and offer some support. You're right in that there are a great many flaws in the MH system, not the least of which is that it can be extremely difficult to navigate. I like to believe though, that if you want to send an email to check in on your status you should do so! Most folks who get into caring professions do so for a reason, and are always wanting to provide the best possible outcomes for clients. I don't think it's a mark of egotistical thinking or of being overly self-important to simply desire information about your own mental health treatment!! I always say - if it matters to you, it matters.

Waiting for something and having little to no information about it is incredibly frustrating, and it's normal to experience anxiety that builds from uncertainty and anticipation. I hope you're able to get in touch with someone and that you can feel empowered in the process too. We're here for you along the way

In response to: Waiting

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor24 Apr 2021, 7:33 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

It was only through this forum that I found the "nothing about me without me" principle. I didn't know that was a thing. I have no idea how embraced this concept is. But it strikes me as a cosy alternative to having to imagine what everyone's writing down about you.

In response to: Waiting

Magpie2Senior Contributor24 Apr 2021, 7:45 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

I can't add much but I know how crazy-making waiting and uncertainty is. I don't know how long you've been waiting or for what, but whether you email or not, I hope you get a helpful answer soon.

In response to: Re: Waiting

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 Apr 2021, 7:58 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

Hello @Magpie2

@chibam I really appreciated @Jynx comment that it was not paranoid to want information about your own case. I hope your situation becomes clear and improves.

@wellwellwellnez I have not embraced the "nothing about me without me" principle enough. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

In response to: Waiting

Unknown userMember24 Apr 2021, 10:25 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

@chibam I hear you, the not knowing is torture and not being able to ask how things are proceeding makes you feel invisible and worthless. Hope you get the answer you need ASAP 💐❣️

In response to: Re: Waiting

OrganismCasual Contributor25 Apr 2021, 5:43 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

Can you explain what the 'nothing about me without me' principle is for those who are not familar?

Cheers

In response to: Re: Waiting

chibamSenior Contributor25 Apr 2021, 6:00 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

Thanks,@Jynx @wellwellwellnez @Magpie2 @Appleblossom @Former-Member for your kind words.

@Jynx wrote:
Hey @chibam, just wanted to pop in and offer some support. You're right in that there are a great many flaws in the MH system, not the least of which is that it can be extremely difficult to navigate. I like to believe though, that if you want to send an email to check in on your status you should do so! Most folks who get into caring professions do so for a reason, and are always wanting to provide the best possible outcomes for clients. I don't think it's a mark of egotistical thinking or of being overly self-important to simply desire information about your own mental health treatment!! I always say - if it matters to you, it matters.

Sorry for the confusion, but I wasn't talking about dealings with the mental health system. My situation pertains to another area of the beaurocracy. Although the mental healty system isn't entirely unrelated to all this... it's complicated...

As I said, I'm not entirely sure how much I am legally aloud to talk about it, so I'll err on the side of being vague to be safe. It's also probably better for my privacy to not be too specific.

@wellwellwellnez wrote:
It was only through this forum that I found the "nothing about me without me" principle. I didn't know that was a thing. I have no idea how embraced this concept is. But it strikes me as a cosy alternative to having to imagine what everyone's writing down about you.

@Appleblossom wrote:
@wellwellwellnez I have not embraced the "nothing about me without me" principle enough. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

Unfortunately, this doesn't surprise me. It's a great concept, but it's not been well-advertized; I guess because the organizations that champion it don't get very much money.

It's a shame. Everybody should know about it, because it's an important concept not only for currant paients of the system, but for future ones as well.

In response to: Re: Waiting

chibamSenior Contributor25 Apr 2021, 7:02 pm AEST

Re: Waiting

Hi @Organism

IME, There are two main layers to the concept; an individual layer and a systematic one.

At the individual level, the basic concept is that you, as a patient should be fully involved in all decisions made about your treatment and care. You should be fully informed of what's going on; all risks, side-effects, intended outcomes, ect. And your self-stated desires & preferances should be the foremost considderation in whatever course your treatment ultimately takes.

It's an important principal to promote as, at the moment, there is a dreadful tendancy for therapists and "carers" to make decisions over the patient's head. To decide amongst themselves "what's best for the patient", without any regard for what the patient actually wants for themselves. This has caused a great deal of anguish over the years.

At the systematic level, it's about making sure that patients/"mentally ill"/suicidal, ect. people are strongly involved in the design and management of all the facilities & services related to mental health and suicide prevention - to make sure that the services that are provided are the services that people like us actually need; and that they work the way we need them to.

I should note that I'm not an expect on this concept, so my descriptions of it may not be the best source of information about these subjects.

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