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Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor20 Apr 2021, 1:48 am AEST

Centaurs attempt at a new life

Nearly 2 weeks ago I decided to do something about the state of my life and move to the other side of the country.

The start was oh so high and fun...a new city to explore, new sites to see, new food to try, family to meet etc.

But then it crashed and the beginning of last week and reality hit. Like what am I actually doing, can I do this and why did i bother. I even spent my birhday yesterday in the psych ward. But for what. My life can't be fixed.

so why am I trying to do about that and do something different. Like there is no point.

I am homeless, with no support; stuck in in a city I don't know. Its like I'm just running from people that exist in my own head and a past I can't forget. Whatever this new life was supposed to be is just a delusion. I can't escape from it, it's like I'm stuck foever.

Why did I think I could actually change. I don't even deserve to. I deserve the pain and the torture. I deserve to be trapped here all alone. I deserve nothing but this missery I put myself through. I deserve nothing but death....

390 replies

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In response to: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 5:01 am AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry. I can hear your pain. With you in spirit, holding your hand.

@The-red-centaur

Sending you love and hope ❤️🙏

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 10:21 am AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

@Anastasia I'm scared....I don't want this I don't want anything.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

TideisTurningSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 10:35 am AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

It sounds like you're struggling a fair bit right now @The-red-centaur and I'm sorry to hear it. I'd just like to encourage you to keep reaching out for support from somewhere like BeyondBlue or Blue Knot Foundation if what you're experiencing starts to feel too distressing- you are so deserving of that support.

Wishing you whatever strength and courage you may need to get through this and all the very best,

TideisTurning 🌹

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 5:41 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

So the repair went ok.
Gonna be starting new meds and the admitted to the psych ward.
The psychiatrist who saw me said I'm bipolar...news to me, makes sense tho, more than eupd.

I still wanna leave tho. Im tired n done.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 6:21 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

Hello @The-red-centaur

So pleased the surgery went well sweetheart 🙏

Hey, getting a diagnosis is HUGE hunny, it's a step in the right direction getting theright treatment. Hold hope, I'm right there with you xox

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 7:20 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

@Anastasia usually it's just been 'youre borderline, get over it' but the drs here seem like they want to help.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 7:24 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

That makes me so happy @The-red-centaur and you know what? You deserve the help. You have been struggling for too long, it's so lovely that you seem to have Dr's that want to help you, you deserve that so much. Honestly I'm smiling from ear to ear for you 😃💕

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor20 Sept 2021, 11:43 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

Sleep well and dream big dear friend @The-red-centaur 🙏💕

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor21 Sept 2021, 9:50 am AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

Hello and hugs @The-red-centaur

How are you doing today? Are you ok?

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor21 Sept 2021, 12:54 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

@Anastasia I'm ok. In pain but ok. Waiting to see psychiatrist to find out what is happening.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.