Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor20 Apr 2021, 1:48 am AEST

Centaurs attempt at a new life

Nearly 2 weeks ago I decided to do something about the state of my life and move to the other side of the country.

The start was oh so high and fun...a new city to explore, new sites to see, new food to try, family to meet etc.

But then it crashed and the beginning of last week and reality hit. Like what am I actually doing, can I do this and why did i bother. I even spent my birhday yesterday in the psych ward. But for what. My life can't be fixed.

so why am I trying to do about that and do something different. Like there is no point.

I am homeless, with no support; stuck in in a city I don't know. Its like I'm just running from people that exist in my own head and a past I can't forget. Whatever this new life was supposed to be is just a delusion. I can't escape from it, it's like I'm stuck foever.

Why did I think I could actually change. I don't even deserve to. I deserve the pain and the torture. I deserve to be trapped here all alone. I deserve nothing but this missery I put myself through. I deserve nothing but death....

390 replies

301 - 310 of 390

1...30 31 32...39

In response to: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor14 July 2021, 4:10 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

@SJT63 Im currently in hospital and will be here a few weeks.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor18 July 2021, 7:48 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

Urghhhh. I'm slightly freaking out, nurse is deciding whether to met call on me coz my heart is having issues. They've been having to monitor it and it's in the emergency range...but yeh. I don't need that shit...I can't deal with that rn.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 July 2021, 8:03 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

Holding hope for you my friend. You're in the best place for care @The-red-centaur 🙏💞

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor18 July 2021, 8:07 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

@Anastasia I'm so tired.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 July 2021, 8:15 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

I hear you sweety @The-red-centaur

I've been in er with my heart before, its scary. Sitting with you, holding your hand and listening if you want to talk x

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor18 July 2021, 8:39 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

"Another day, the pain remains
Won’t someone reconstruct my brain
And draw the poison from my veins
Do I have myself to blame"

This song is mood...new hit by Imminence called heaven in hiding.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

AnastasiaSenior Contributor18 July 2021, 9:31 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

I'm still with you @The-red-centaur 💞

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor19 July 2021, 7:35 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

@The-red-centaur wrote:
"Another day, the pain remains
Won’t someone reconstruct my brain
And draw the poison from my veins
Do I have myself to blame"

This song is mood...new hit by Imminence called heaven in hiding.

Not bad. I find myself deconstructing it in different ways though. Actually, that also is a feature of a good song lyric.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor24 July 2021, 5:35 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

How do you build your life up when the bricks your using keeps falling off or breaking?
.
So lots happened yesterday...if I wasn't in hospital I don't think I would have made it through tbh.
Start of day I woke up scared and anxious after nightmares upon nightmares.
Dr's meeting went wrong.
Then my flight to Tasmania on Monday got cancelled
Then my partner said he was no longer coming to Perth and he didn't want to be with someone like me.
I went out in evening and even that went wrong. And on way back to hospital all the shops were shit so I couldn't even buy something sharp.
So yeh my life broke apart yet again. I don't know how to keep building it back up. When is a pile of bricks too broken to be usable and everyone just lets them get destroyed.

In response to: Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

BowSenior Contributor24 July 2021, 6:50 pm AEST

Re: Centaurs attempt at a new life

Might make zero sense @The-red-centaur but when I read this I kept getting that you need a new fresh foundation to build on. And that you need new bricks, new tools. Start a fresh I guess. No good using the same broken bricks to try and build your life upon, they are already broken and won't stay together.
ignore if it makes so sense. Sorry.

301 - 310 of 390

1...30 31 32...39

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.