Centaurs attempt at a new life

Just wanted to say I'm reading your posts @The-red-centaur and really feel for you.

Forum people care about you x

@The-red-centaur The idea I had a week or so ago (which I then forgot about) was to scour your older posts for a time when you were in a more positive mindset, so I could then tag you and remind you of a time when you were feeling stronger.

YOU HAVE SURVIVED SO MUCH @The-red-centaur and you do not deserve to be in any more pain. You deserve kindness, compassion, and the chance to work through all this pain.

You have shown so much strength in dealing with a number of road blocks throughout life. You have made difficult decisions and taken incredible leaps forward and shown undeniable bravery--I won't say anything specific to avoid triggers. But I'm in awe at how you have handled such difficult times, you are courageous.

I am hesitant to mention this, because I don't want to bring anything up that may distress you. But, I've read through some of your older posts (in a completely non stalkery way) and noticed you mention your Dad a couple of times in a positive light. I don't know if he is close by or in another state, or if you haven't spoken to him in a while, but, I'm going to beg and plead with you to reach out to him. Please @The-red-centaur give him a call. Let him in. I wish that forum land could provide the support you need and deserve, but it's not the same as having someone there with us in person. You deserve to have someone with you right now--yeah of course all of us on the forum will be here, I'll still be here too. But please, please give your Dad a call for me, please.

I'm also going to tag some of the forum members who posted nice and helpful things in your other posts in case they haven't seen this thread yet:

@Judi9877 @Daisydreamer @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Former-Member @Former-Member @Snowie @Zoe7 @Maggie

@The-red-centaur

I wish I could make your struggle easier.

McCubbin King St bakeryOutside ... Streeton

I cannot draw or paint like you, so the best I can do is share some art from the net. These are 2 Arthur Streetons. One a King St kitchen and the other at Coogee in Sydney. Looking forward to yours.

Thank you for the tag @saltandpepper

Hi @The-red-centaur - sorry you've ended up in hospital after a suicide attempt and struggling with SI & putting up with potentially violent patients hovering, in a high dependency ward, locked out of the safety of your room... Sheesh!. Feel for yoy.

I've been there, more than once, forbthe same reasons as you. One fella locked in next door was clearly distressed for 48hrs. Two others had it out in front of everyone, horrible... I've never seen that before (not in public). It's hard being there but it's all they have to work with.

And I'm so sorry you don't have any supportive family there for you. No family visited me during my last x6wk admission... think they see it as reinforcing negative behaviour, they just don't understand depression or MI, and influenced by stigma, they can't handle it (weak, and ignorant). Really hope the professionals can help you through this setback. I know a large part of you wants to live.

Its late now so hope you're back in your room by away from those PTSD triggers. Please tell the staff how you feel. It's good you've got your phone, check in tomorrow so we know youre okvcausevwe care. If you do any art there, love to see a pic of it here. Do try rest tonight. Breathe deeply and self care your inner child. Ask one of the staff to stand guard outside your room if it will help. You can get through this relapse. Give yourself a chance. Deep breaths xox

Oh @The-red-centaur

Thank you for saying hi. My heart is in tiny pieces reading what's happening for you. My boy is in hospital too, self harmed twice in the last three days in there. If I could take you under my wing too I would. I'm sorry that life has dealt you a shitty hand. Its really not fair. I want nothing more than for you to have a guided light to see that it's worth going forward. You and my boy. I wish I had the answers. I wish for both of you a future with less pain.

I don't have advice but I do see and hear you buddy. Please know we care and we are in your corner. Sending you Love and strength and hope in droves. I happen to think you're pretty courageous 🙏

Hey @saltandpepper I hear you buddy. So much to say but have to fly and will respond to your post when I can. I promise it gets better, I've been where you are. Divorced when my youngest was not even 2 so trust me your future is bright 🙏

You've got this ✔️👍

@The-red-centaur It has been some time since we have connected and you have made some major changes in your life since then. I know you moved across the country to try to reconnect with family and to try to start a new life but that has not eventuated how you had hoed it would ...but that does not mean you cannot make a life for yourself where you are. That of course takes a lot of effort and time to do but first you need to find yourself, who you are, who you want to be and follow the dreams you have had. That is a big thing to do though and does take time and support.

I can certainly hear your struggles and disappointments with how things have turned out but I can also see you reaching out and connecting with us here - and that for me shows you are not completely giving up as by continuing to talk here, find support here and connect here you are finding just a little hope in aongst all that darkness. Keep reaching out for that support because you are worth being supported and worth being able to get the help to find a way forward.

@saltandpepper

I've been busy decorating my eoomlol.

Here some drawings

And I tried to paint a portrait which I've only ever done once before

This is one of my favs

@The-red-centaur I'm so glad you have your art as a way to express yourself, and the forums as a way to feel heard. I'm sorry about your current situation, it sounds scary and stressful 😞 Am wishing so much that you can feel a spark of hope 💛