Help. Please.

Depressed, alone, unlovable, undeserving, not worthy, broken, useless, pathetic, weak, screwed up, hate filled, anxious, struggling, lying, hiding, smiling, dead inside, yearning, longing, empty, hopeless, selfish, tired, exhausted, lost, haunted, wreckless, death wish

Oh @saltandpepper it sounds like things are feeling so heavy right now. I'm sorry that you are experiencing all these different feelings right now

You are welcome to give the SANE helpline a call (1800 18 7263 or webchat) if you would like some counselling support. Or if you are concerned about your safety you can call Lifeline (13 11 14) or Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). Take good care of yourself.

Goodness @saltandpepper ... thats not at all good. Although I have to say that most of that description I often apply to myself as well. Please know that these feelings wont last forever, and that this is a passing thing. Cannot say you wont feel like this again sometime in future ... but its not always going to be like this. Its a transition thing, and you will pull through this because you have so much to live for ... so much to want to get through and thrive. So much life to live.

Can I sit with you for a while, make a nice hot cuppa perhaps? And please dont forget to eat and hydrate properly after your drinking session last night.

Emelia 🤗💕

Yes please @Emelia8 thanks for sitting with me

I just don't want to do any of it anymore. Why has it gotta be like this? Why do I have to get these crippling waves of depression? Like everything inside of me is being crushed under the weight of it all. It never goes away. It eases up, but wading through it is like torture. I'm so tired. I wish it was easier than this. I wish I was stronger, more capable. Not just this half assed disappointment of a person. I just want it to stop. I wish it wasn't such an effort to be alive. I wish I could do more than this. I was I was more than this.

Oh @saltandpepper I wish I coule reach through the screen and hug you tight and tell you everything will be ok. Sitting with you and @Emelia8 too, if that's ok?

Hey there @saltandpepper, I can see today has been a tough one. I'm worried about you so i'm going to check in privately via email. Were you able to speak to someone or get through to a helpline today? Talk soon,

Sphinxly

I wish that were a possibility @Anastasia I really do. I love reading about you and your boys, seeing how mych love you have for them. It blows my mind though. Just that some families have that. It doesn't even seem real to me. This void though, this pain, I don't think anyone or anything will be able to heal it. I'm just stuck living like this. And I don't want to. Sometimes I really wish I didn't have a kid. I wish I could just give up and not have to live through another second of this bullshit. It just gets so overwhelming sometimes. Feels like my mind is always working against me, trying to pull me into this dark place. Im so tired of fighting it. I'm so fu*king tired of it. Just so mych pain inside of me and I want it to stop, i want it to be over, so badly

@saltandpepper ❣

Oh @saltandpepper I can hear your pain, I really can.

My heart is breaking for you, I am so sorry that you have been unloved and mistreated and you are now breaking as a result. You have every reason and more to be feeling the way that you are. It is all so brutally unfair and unjust and I wish I could fix things. You deserve love and happiness, probably more than most to make up for what you have lost. I do believe you will have both in time but for now can I sit with you and hold your hand in the hope that it makes you feel a teeny bit better?

Perhaps picture my stupidly awkward dance moves, with my two left feet maybe that might even bring the tiniest smile to your face? You are super special and I have a huge spot in my heart that I hold for you S&P. Sitting with you my friend 🙂

Together we've got this 🙂