I feel stable but something's still not right?

I've had a really hard past 2 years. 24 inpatient admissions, psychosis multipe times, multiple suicide attempts and just a ton of instability. At the moment I'm feeling good, refreshed and in control. I'm happy but I don't feel manic. I've only been feeling good for around 2 weeks now, but this is seriously one of the longest periods of stability I've had in close to a year thanks to my rapid cycling bipolar.

But I still don't feel quite right. Maybe it's just me still dealing with all the bad stuff that's happened, or maybe I just forget what it's like to feel normal. I do feel a bit lonely becuase I've lost a lot of friends in this journey, so perhaps that's contributing to it too. I guess I feel a little uneasy too. I'm worried that I'll have another episode and that this stability will end. I haven't been having a good time with my psychiatrist so I'm changing psychiatrists but that might take a while so I'm also worried that that may contribute to my instability.

Overall I'm okay, not brilliant, but okay. Let's hope this keep continuing and getting better!