LisnowyContributor
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I so wish there was an easy way to end my life
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LisnowyContributor
I so wish there was an easy way to end my life
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LisnowyContributor
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outlanderSenior Contributor
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HenryXSenior Contributor
@Lisnowy
Hi Lisnowy
The description of how you feel resonates with me. I remember drawing two images of how I felt some years ago.
The first was a drawing of me in a sinkhole in desert sand, where the more that I tried to claw my way out, the more the sand kept falling in on me.
The second was of me, desperately clinging to some sort of life preserver, being swept out into the ocean by the tide, past a land point on the shore that I knew that I could not reach.
Both images have a sense of desperation and futility. Fortunately, I have come a long way since that time. However, there are days when I wake up with thoughts about how desperate, unmanageable and overwhelming my life seems.
At times, I seem to become acutely aware of the difficulty that I have dealing with the seemingly ordinary things in my life. Then a cyclone comes along (literally) and the seemingly ordinary seems to take on the appearance of being crushing.
At each of these times, I need to remind myself that I have felt those crushing feelings before and have survived. In a recent post, I spoke of a time when I sat on the doorstep thinking “all I have to do is wait and these (bad) feelings will pass”.
It was shortly after that time that I was diagnosed as having clinical depression, and subsequently with adult ADHD. After that, I became aware that the feelings I had were there for many years before the diagnosis.
There are a variety of ways to address depression. There are what are unfortunately named 'talk' therapies. These are much more than just talking. To be effective, they require a good deal of personal work by the client in conjunction with a therapist. In other words, it is not just a matter of someone else 'fixing you up'. A therapist guides you to help you to better understand yourself through your - feelings, thoughts, motivations, fears, desires.....
“Psychotherapy, also known as psychological therapies or talk therapies, explores your feelings, thoughts and behaviours that are distressing you and work towards changing these. It can be used by people with mental health conditions, and it can also be used by people who want to understand themselves better.”
“Different talking therapies are called a confusing mix of names and some therapies have several names. Don't let the jargon put you off! Behind every technical term is a way of working with people that are designed to help.”
These types of therapy include Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) Dialectic behaviour therapy (DBT) and others.
There are also medications to help balance the chemicals and function in the brain. I now take one of those types of medication.
I believe that what I am saying in this note to you is that to have changes take place for you, there will be a good deal of work on your part. And for the majority of people who put in that work, there is the opportunity to live a reasonable life.
While I have setbacks from time to time, I would say that my life is mostly enjoyable and productive. I think that that is a goal worth working for.
With My Best Wishes
HenryX
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