Unknown userMember
Giving up on life. [TRIGGERING, suicide].
I am REALLY, really low tonight.
I think I can pin-point where it started. Earlier today, I was looking at a post on Reddit. Then, I went to the home page. On the home page, there was a post from the subreddit r/niceguys. That led me down a rabbit hole.
If you're unfamiliar, r/niceguys is a forum where people talk about interactions they have had with guys that reacted aggressively to being socially or romantically rejected. It is quite an aggressive place in its own right, and there are a lot of labels that branch out of it.
The point is, there's a lot of judgement around people who are socially outcast for whatever reason.
I remember someone said "women aren't rehabs for broken men". I heard someone else say "if you're 'starved for positive attention', why don't you call your mother?"
I am sure you've heard it in other ways too. There's a stigma around being alone, which makes you even more alone. Like how being the "quiet kid" at school now has a connotation with school shootings. Was that stigma around when you were at school or is it a recent thing?
As I have said before... I don't know how people can talk about preventing suicide, and also kind of encourage it with their attitudes and actions. Lots of people feel bad for the "quiet kid", but they still subscribe to the idea that it's something to be wary of.
Someone asked online, "what does giving up on life actually mean?"
"It’s different for different people. But in general, I’d say it means that someone gives up on all their dreams and ambitions. They stop bothering to make an effort. They stop trying."
That sounds about right. My heart hurts.. but I don't try to meet people. I haven't for a long time. I know what'll happen. People talk about love at first sight. For me, it's more like fear at first sight or nausea at first sight.
I want to die, but I am reluctant to try therapy, because what is she going to tell me that I haven't heard already? I have heard all the advice before, and it just makes me feel worse. How do you get out when you don't want to?
None of these are rhetorical questions, by the way, I'd like to get your input. Especially if you've given up on life before.
I'm safe... but tired.
;
Just to let you know, guys, I have got a positive post in the works, to be released tomorrow or Sunday. I know it's not good, even on support forums, to be one-way, if that makes sense.
