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New to the page and not doing well

amesyCasual Contributor29 Aug 2016, 1:25 pm AEST

New to the page and not doing well

Hey everyone,

I have suffered depression and anxiety for 15 years now. I have on and off self harmed since I was 11. The last few weeks have been really hard and I have relapsed and self harmed twice in the last week. I just feel so stuck. My depression cycle has always been fairly similar, I hit rock bottom, try counselling and upping my medication, nothing helps for a few months and then I start to bounce back for a while. Then i go downhill again. My husband gets really mad at me when I self harm which only makes it 10000 times worse. He wants me to go to the doctor again and start counselling - the thing is, it never helps. I really do feel like no matter what i try, the only thing that gets me back to coping is time. I find counselling frustrating - i can tell my story over and over, it doesnt change what has happened, and i already know the coping mechanisms that they are going to try and give me. I have done years of therapy... yet here i am, feeling suicidal and self harming - again. im 26, and i really think this cycle of mental unwellness is something I am going to have to live with for the rest of my life... but I just dont know how I am meant to keep doing this - its exhausting. Does anyone else fear that they are just stuck with a life of not coping?

5 replies

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In response to: New to the page and not doing well

tw70Casual Contributor29 Aug 2016, 4:58 pm AEST

Re: New to the page and not doing well

I agree with you on counselling, we just keep hoping for the magic Psyc to fix us, mmm, not so.

I have only recently faced my mental health issues, I've tried meds, countless psyc sessions, I'm just not sure anything helps. I need to take controll myself, thats the only way I believe. I just joined this site hoping that chatting to others might help a bit? Time will tell I guess. Just know you are not alone.

In response to: Re: New to the page and not doing well

Unknown userMember29 Aug 2016, 5:16 pm AEST

Re: New to the page and not doing well

Hi @amesy and @tw70

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you are both in a similar place right now.

@amesy, what you’re going through sounds really hard. Experiencing the same pattern for a long time can make it feel very engrained and difficult to change, but lots of people do break those cycles.

From what you’ve said, it sounds like you tend to reach out for professional support when things are really tough but withdraw again when things are going a bit better. Do you think it would be worthwhile trying to commit to counselling for a bit longer? Or perhaps trying a different therapeutic approach?

@amesy and @tw70, it sounds like you’re both feeling as though you’re already using the available coping mechanisms. I’m wondering if there might be anything new in the “coping box” discussion over here.

@tw70, wouldn’t it be great if there was a magic psych who could fix us all with the wave of a wand! It’s easy to feel like nothing is helping at the beginning of treatment, and sometimes it takes some trial and error to find something that does help. But it sounds like you are committed to doing that at the moment and that can be the hardest thing. And you’ve found the forums to start chatting to others which is a good start to doing something positive for yourself.

Welcome again! Take a look around and keep posting – there’s always someone here to listen

In response to: New to the page and not doing well

amesyCasual Contributor03 Sept 2016, 11:11 pm AEST

Re: New to the page and not doing well

I find counsellors and psychologists end my therapy when im doing well... it tends to be months of me going in and basically saying yep im ok..

In response to: New to the page and not doing well

PennywiseNew Contributor04 Sept 2016, 8:19 pm AEST

Re: New to the page and not doing well

Hi guys. Im new here as well. Im finding today a bad day for me. I suffer from anxiety which i only realised i had a few months ago so i saw a psychologist and have found a few ways to cope for now. Today however im irritable, nervous, sad and grumpy.
Just keep telling myself tomorrow us another day.

In response to: New to the page and not doing well

KurraSenior Contributor05 Sept 2016, 8:53 pm AEST

Re: New to the page and not doing well

Hi @Pennywise

Most people have bad hair days whether they have a mental illness or not. Cut yourself some slack and accept that's how it is today. As you said tomorrow is a new day and may well be heaps better!

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