Let`s talk about Bipolar

Hi Everyone

Have been struggling a bit lately. Have a work issue that includes working with a boss that doesn’t meet some of my expectations (there are some BIG gaps in terms of leadership style and values in general). I’ve decided recently to take a new approach - not taking him on and getting outcomes by simply playing it straight, being transparent and…being creative and strategic.

Only reason I’m mentioning this is because when I’m stuck in my head and feeling anxious, I always have a starting position of “am I just unwell at the moment in terms of my bipolar stability”? It’s an automatic place for me to start whenever I have some sort of relationship issue to unravel and work through. I wonder if this will ever change?

Good morning everyone

I am really struggling at the moment. I’m in a depressive episode and it’s really bad. The last few months have been a massive roller coaster. I go from being high to being suicidal. Just last week I was stable. The psychiatrist is still playing around with meds but my question is does it ever get easier or is this what my life is going to be like? If this is how it’s going to be I will give up.

Thanks

Good morning @Captain24 ❤️ I thought I'd tag a few folks in this thread to chat with you about this.

@Delicatessen @Dimity @Sirine @Olga @bipolarbunny How have you been coping with the ups and downs or how finding the right medications has changed things? I'm wondering what support you can offer @Captain24

I know for me when I slip back into depression, the thing I've found helps the most is reflecting on the fact that I've gotten through it before. And I find it quite hard to just think about it, so I have some letters and things I read back to myself when the times are good. We may have spoken about that before. But I'm wondering if that could help you get through the low times?

Thanks @Former-Member.

I can re-read my journal, especially last week when life was good.

I just feel really alone right now and don’t know what to do. I have none of my support’s available and no idea where to turn for help. I know there is the lines I can call but I really need someone that knows me. I’m really not coping and I’m scared.

Hi @TaxedoCat and others, that is a very good question which I have been reflecting on a lot lately. Unfortunately I don't have any answers but please keep me in this thread so I can here from you and others. I am just recovering from recent and fairly sudden plummet in mood from which I could only recover in hospital. I make myself aware which triggers got me there and working on avoiding them may help me to remain well. I like your idea of documenting what worked in the past for you.

Stay well, Olga

@Captain24, what are you feeling scared of today?

I know that feeling well of needing someone who knows me. Did you feel like that when you first reached out on the forums?

I'm wondering because I know it can a little bit of time to reach that point with any new relationship. And it can be really difficult, but I know you've been so brave to reach out to new places before. Have you called the counselling line here at SANE before? or is your MH nurse available?

Sitting with you ❤️

Welcome back @Olga ❤️ It's great to hear what's worked for you so far. Is there anything else which has helped you start to feel a bit better?

I’m scared of where I’m heading @Former-Member. It’s not a good place.

The forums were the first place I actually reached out. I had never seen or spoken to anyone about my life previously other than a gp that said ‘everyone feels like that’

My nurse is away at the moment so that’s making things hard. I feel like I need a little bit of consistency not rehashing with continual different people. I know that doesn’t make any sense.

It does make sense @Captain24 ❤️ I think it's really understandable to have that worry.

I can hear that you're scared. And if I can be honest, I'm also a little bit scared for you.

It sounds like you know you need some extra support, but you're worried about rehashing everything?

It's completely your decision and yours alone, but it sounds like by not reaching out for support, things will almost definitely get worse for you. But if you do reach out for support, it could go really well. Or it could just help you through the next little while.

What do you think?

Hello @Captain24 @Olga @Former-Member

Fistbump @Captain24 been there. I really appreciate my furbaby then - well I do all the time but especially when I'm low.

One of the givens is that there's another upcycle on the way, but when and how much. Meanwhile we need a cocoon or a comfort zone. Are you OK for groceries and selfcare while you ride it out or do you need to call in your team? If you can, prepping a good meal and getting absorbed in a book or screen help minutes and hours pass. These days I use a free mood tracking app called Daylio - even the differences between meh, bad and awful are important. I think the intensity of the lows has mitigated. And Daylio lets you set up and check off activities as well (it lets you see if some activities relate to feeling better and is also a reminder re things you might not have done for a while).

I think things have definitely gotten better for me, and maybe I've mellowed.

But for now @Captain24 how can you nurture yourself?