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Struggling to stay alive.

LoveBugContributor28 Aug 2016, 5:41 pm AEST

Struggling to stay alive.

Hi guys.

I am beyond stuggling at the moment. After July 5th- my suicide attempt- everything has been slipping, very rapidly too. I am experiencing frequent suicidal thoughts.. I really don't want to be here anymore. I have no motivation to do anything, i am exercising but it isn't helping- it is just making me more tired and irritable. I am getting lots of help from a psychlogist and a social worker, but nothing is helping. i feel like i am approaching a mental breakdown, i don't know what to do. I am only 19 years old.. and i believe, with all my heart, that life isn't worth living.

If anyone could give me some advice, that would be great.

And can someone please, from experience, explain to me what it feels like to be having a mental breakdown?

8 replies

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In response to: Struggling to stay alive.

Unknown userMember28 Aug 2016, 6:40 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

HI @LoveBug,

Just read you post and I'm sorry to read that you are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts today and in recent months. I'm concerned about your safety and will email you also with some helpline contact numbers that you can call anytime of the day.

When you are in the depths of despair and depression, it is common to belive that life isn't worth living. That is the impact of the depression and not your healthy self talking. I'm sure others here will respond and talk of being in a similiar situation, and what helped them. Also about mental breakdowns.

It's good that you have attended regular appts to get support. Today you need to access crisis support by calling:

A friend or family member you can talk to.
Lifeline on 131114 - 24 hr support.
Suicide Callback - 1300 659 467 24/7. Also web counselling via website: www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au

I'll chat with you on the email. You don't have to struggle alone.

Frog

In response to: Struggling to stay alive.

ThegirlCasual Contributor28 Aug 2016, 7:03 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

Hey- i just want to say you're not alone. It's okay to feel like you can't escape the dark feelings but it does get better. Learning self help i find is the best thing for me. And you've already started that by posting on here which is so good!

I have a journal that at the end of the day i write down how i feel, how my day went and then i write 2 things im going to achieve the next day. It can be as simple as making my bed to eating healthy for the whole day. And i find when i look back at it at the end of the following day and tick it off, it pushes me to go on.

Step by step you can pull yourself out. Its good you're still exercising, even if it makes you feel worse it's still producing the good endorphins. You can do it!

In response to: Re: Struggling to stay alive.

AppleblossomSenior Contributor28 Aug 2016, 7:24 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

Hello @LoveBug and @Thegirl

I think there are different words used at different times. If you feel you need help ... that's enough ... reach out to your supports. I do hope that you have a team to call after your attempt last month. Otherwise the mods can help.

Regarding a "mental breakdown." I think it is actually a lay term. Clinicians dont usually say it. People in my mother's day said it. My husband did not use the word.

The most important thing is that the help you get is appropriate to your needs.

Gentleigh Bentleigh

Apple

In response to: Re: Struggling to stay alive.

LoveBugContributor28 Aug 2016, 8:27 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

Hi @Former-Member.

Thank you for responding and for the helpful advice and compassion you have showed me. I really do appreciate it!

In response to: Struggling to stay alive.

BlueEyedBiPolarCasual Contributor28 Aug 2016, 8:42 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

Hi LoveBug,

Good work for getting yourself here. It's hard.....I know first hand how you may be feeling as I'm sure many others do too. I am in the shadows atm with an failed attempt last night, so I get where you are coming from. I don't have any magic words but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

Take care and be gentle on yourself. We are often our own worst enemies.

Blue Eyed Bipoar

In response to: Re: Struggling to stay alive.

LoveBugContributor28 Aug 2016, 8:54 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

@Thegirl- thank you for your message, i really do appreciate you taking the time to reply to me.

Thank you for your advice, i will definitely try that- i'm willing to do anything.

My best wishes to you.

P.S. you're so brave from continuing on this dark path.

In response to: Re: Struggling to stay alive.

LoveBugContributor28 Aug 2016, 8:57 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

Hi @BlueEyedBiPolar.

I am really sorry to hear about your suicide attempt. You may not be happy that you are still here, speaking on experience, but i am glad you are and i am sure everyone else is too.

You can do it and you are never, ever alone either.

In response to: Struggling to stay alive.

ThegirlCasual Contributor28 Aug 2016, 9:13 pm AEST

Re: Struggling to stay alive.

@LoveBug yes it's always a challenge, and to be honest the darkness and sad times will always be there, thats the nature of depression. But we get stronger from each step we get past..

Today was one of those days for me- but i know tomorrow i can improve with a positive mindset. Goodluck!

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