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Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

BridgetjonesSenior Contributor28 Aug 2016, 5:40 pm AEST

Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

My 23 yr old daughter is really bad at managing money. She is on centrelink payments and cant survive. She got into debt yrs ago in various ways and debt collectors are taking money from her bank account. Lately she has needed money from me alot. Pays me back at times but lately cant do it. Driving me crazy her constant need for money. Im also on centrelink and have been for years but Im good at managing money. Her circumstances are causing stress. Anyone else in this situation.?

4 replies

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In response to: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

Flower88Senior Contributor29 Aug 2016, 8:04 pm AEST

Re: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

I was pretty bad with money when I was her age too I'm now 27, my savings have gotten better. What she may need to do is have an account that you look after and puts 5 dollars away or 20 per pay cycle so it's our of sight and out of mind. She needs to put her foot on the break and look at her debts, maybe she needs to consolidate them. I've been there 🙂

In response to: Re: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

AppleblossomSenior Contributor29 Aug 2016, 11:14 pm AEST

Re: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

Yep @Bridgetjones I support both my son and I on my DSP for one.

He cant cope with Centrelink .. and I am biding my time in pushiing him to face up to what we all have to face up to in life. Work and pay our way ... I have some equity in my house ... we are managing .. just .. I am good with money and helped his father with running a company etc ... but I am tightening the purse strings ... it doesnt really help them to be wasteful ... dunno how the economy is going to be long term ... how long has it been going on?

In response to: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

AloneSenior Contributor30 Aug 2016, 11:51 am AEST

Re: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

Would it be possible for you to sit down with her and manage her money together? Or if she doesnt want you to help her manage her money Centrelink has some financial counsellors, or most community centres have someone who can help teach her to manage her money better for free.

To be honest it sounds a bit like she might be taking advantage of you. She really needs to learn to manage her finances at some stage, maybe you could help point her in that direction?

In response to: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

SaharaSenior Contributor30 Aug 2016, 12:26 pm AEST

Re: Stressed out by daughters constant need to borrow money

HI @Bridgetjones,

I agree with @Alone, that your daughter might be taking advantage of your good nature. She will have to face up to her inability to manage money and pay her debts at some point. I think it is a great idea to seek professional advice, through a free community financial planner.

You might like to explore bankruptcy law. If someone is still young and they have no significant material assets, like a house or a luxury car, then it could be an option. Even if your daughter were to declare bankrupt, she could still work and earn an income and she could keep a car, as long as it was not a luxury model. I am not a lawyer or a financial planner so I can't advise you in any other capacity than as a friend.

If debt collectors are taking money directly from your daughter's account, then she must have signed something to allow this to happen. If she wants to cease these payments, or at least reduce them, she will have to contact the debt collectors and negotiate a different deal with them. It can be done.

It's good to hear that she has been paying you back. Please don't feel guilty for not being able to give her everything she asks for.

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