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JJBCasual Contributor28 Aug 2016, 3:58 pm AEST

Relapse

I dealt with depression throughout my last 3 or so years of High School. I used to self harm.

After I graduated things got better, and I stopped. Fast forward 2 yeas later to yesterday, and I did it again.

I don't know what went through my mind. I was having a having a hard time coping with personal and relationship issues. I think I just needed to feel something. And when I did it it felt good. It felt familiar.

I hate that I liked it so much and I'm scared it's going to happen again.

I just don't know how to cope with it all. I cried myself to sleep last night and had constant tears in my eyes all today.

I don't know who to go to for help because I know nobody will understand.

I just needed to get this off my chest.

3 replies

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In response to: Relapse

AlwaysonmymindContributor28 Aug 2016, 5:04 pm AEST

Re: Relapse

Hello @JJB Relationship turmoil is just the thing for bringing out what we thought were buried and dealt with past emotions. Isn't it strange how we are always so hard on ourselves and tend to be our own worst judge and jury all in one. Are you currently taking any medication at the moment or seeing a counsellor? Do you have a close friend you can share this with? I understand what you say about feeling something as opposed to nothing and it honestly feels like a pressure cooker. Have you considered checking in with you GP to talk about this 'set back'. By not talking to someone about it will only make your feelings towards yourself manifest; there is no shame in getting help - in fact by getting help you are a hero and making that small step will give you the encouragement you need to face another day. Keep your chin up and please keep in touch.

@JJB wrote:
I dealt with depression throughout my last 3 or so years of High School. I used to self harm.

After I graduated things got better, and I stopped. Fast forward 2 yeas later to yesterday, and I did it again.

I don't know what went through my mind. I was having a having a hard time coping with personal and relationship issues. I think I just needed to feel something. And when I did it it felt good. It felt familiar.

I hate that I liked it so much and I'm scared it's going to happen again.

I just don't know how to cope with it all. I cried myself to sleep last night and had constant tears in my eyes all today.

I don't know who to go to for help because I know nobody will understand.

I just needed to get this off my chest.

In response to: Relapse

JJBCasual Contributor28 Aug 2016, 11:36 pm AEST

Re: Relapse

@Alwaysonmymind,

Thank you for the kind words.

To answer your question, no I'm not currently taking any medication or seeing a counsellor about any of this. Although I feel like it's something I really need to do. I was thinking baby steps so I started by coming on here. Maybe seeing a professional about it would help.

I'm just afraid that I won't know how to explain it all and get looked at like I'm crazy.

And I just shared this with one of my close friends, it felt good to have somebody to talk to and have them be there for me and understand what I'm going through. It does help a lot.

I'm not sure how to get help. I'm going to put some research into this tonight and see how I go tomorrow.

I hope I'm strong enough to go out and seek it.

In response to: Re: Relapse

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor29 Aug 2016, 12:43 am AEST

Re: Relapse

Hi @JJB

There is a chat line on the Forums ..... not sure of the hours but you can try during the day tomorrow and there will be an auto-feedback if its outside their hours that tells you what they are ....

There is also a Helpline if you're happy to speak directly with a counsellor - 1800 18 7263 - which is also subject to operational hours.

I am guessing it will help to chat to them and receive advice about where and how to go about seeking help, step by step. You won't shock them, and might take comfort being in conversation with someone who knows and understands what you're feeling ....

Take care

🌷 F&H

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