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I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 10:58 am AEDT

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm here again
I'm sorry I'm starting to wear again
Sorry you're tired of hearing it
I'm tired of carrying all the comparison
Sorry I'm feeling it

I'm sorry I suck at concealing it
If I were real with you I'd tell it all
If you were real with me you'd tell me you don't think I'm real at all

-icon for hire

I don't know how to be alive anymore.....the last 3 weeks I've been in hospital 15 times for suicide and self harm. I tried taking my life on Friday and now I just don't know a way forward. I'm sorry I'm here again. I guess this is my last ditch effort at trying to find a better light before I extinguish my candle when I'm discharged later today. I'm sorry that Im so worn down that I've given up in getting up. I don't feel real anymore and looking forward to the fact when that will be reality.

15 replies

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In response to: I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 3:26 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

Thanks so much for these messages of support. It really means a lot.

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor21 Mar 2021, 7:55 am AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

I'm so tired....

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor21 Mar 2021, 8:56 am AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

https://youtu.be/-MqgkbxX9Dw

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor28 Mar 2021, 2:42 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

Things have escalated again and I'm stuck in hospital getting a transfusion.

I'm supposed to be moving states in 10 days. I don't feel like I can do it, and feel like I cant do anything right. I feel worthless, useless and hopeless. I'm stuck.
The chance to run away was supposed to be something to look forward to, not another added stress. My body and brain really cant deal with it anymore

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

Unknown userMember28 Mar 2021, 6:31 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

Hey there @The-red-centaur , I'm sorry to hear things aren't working out for you right now. You must be feeling so physically and mentally exhausted. If you feel like chatting to a professional, do reach out to a crisis helpline-

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

Thinking of you,

Sphinxly 🐣

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