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I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 10:58 am AEDT

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm here again
I'm sorry I'm starting to wear again
Sorry you're tired of hearing it
I'm tired of carrying all the comparison
Sorry I'm feeling it

I'm sorry I suck at concealing it
If I were real with you I'd tell it all
If you were real with me you'd tell me you don't think I'm real at all

-icon for hire

I don't know how to be alive anymore.....the last 3 weeks I've been in hospital 15 times for suicide and self harm. I tried taking my life on Friday and now I just don't know a way forward. I'm sorry I'm here again. I guess this is my last ditch effort at trying to find a better light before I extinguish my candle when I'm discharged later today. I'm sorry that Im so worn down that I've given up in getting up. I don't feel real anymore and looking forward to the fact when that will be reality.

15 replies

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In response to: I'm sorry

WIPSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 11:12 am AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

@The-red-centaur please don't be sorry!!! No need to be at all.

This is a safe place, a place to offer you the comfort and help you need no matter what.

Im sorry to hear what you went through on Friday, you must be in such a dark, sad place. But, we are here to give you some hope, some hope to see some light. You are worth that light and encouragement. We will walk this tough road with you. x

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

AppleblossomSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 12:55 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

@The-red-centaur

You have been through so much. You do not need to say sorry.

In response to: I'm sorry

OtterSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 1:10 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

Hi Red,

I echo the words of our lovely members here today in that we are here for you through and through and are so happy that you are continuing to reach out to us. I am feeling concerned for you at the moment so as you know I’ve dropped you a private email and just letting you know we are fully here and behind you in this.

You can check in with SCBS or Lifeline at any time for a chat just as a reminder, before or after your discharge today. It’s important you are able to stay safe, if you require urgent help please dial for one of of these services or phone 000.

Kindest regards and here with you,
 

Otter

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

WIPSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 2:10 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

How are you doing now @The-red-centaur

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 2:17 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

Emergency department isn't letting me leave at the moment and there's no beds in the psych ward so I'm currently in limbo.

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 2:38 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

I just found out they are going to transfer me to another hospital in the state.

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

destructiveSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 2:55 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

I'm glad it sounds like they're going to give you some more help @The-red-centaur

@I don't know you well but I know now one deserves to feel such darkness. You're in my thoughts. Let us know how you get on

In response to: I'm sorry

Unknown userMember14 Mar 2021, 8:36 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

IM HERE IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO!!!
im part of a did/osdd system, but im sure all my system memebers would be willing to talk to you, help you or anything at all you need!

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

AppleblossomSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 10:30 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

@The-red-centaur

Hope you are somewhere better.

Have you done much of your art?

Just sending pics

Man in a box Sarah YeomanPositions and feelings

In response to: I'm sorry

Unknown userMember14 Mar 2021, 11:41 pm AEDT

Re: I'm sorry

@The-red-centaur I'm sorry that you're sorry.

Please know that you yourself have nothing to be sorry for. I wish I had the words to make everything right but know that we will never tire of hearing from you.

You are incredible to keep going despite how low you are. The fact that you posted on here shows that you have not given up entirely which takes a lot of willpower and resilience.

Friday is a new beginning, the start to a new life, keep on going. You have the entire forum behind you, and you can keep on coming back whenever you need or want to.

Please don't take your life, instead promise yourself to keep trying for you.

We are here and we're listening, come back.

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