Hi Amanda76
It is now four days since you posted your concerns. I'm sorry that we haven't been able to respond more quickly.
Chronic disease can really affect you psychologically because you simply cannot, in many cases, do the things you have been used to doing. You've mentioned the fact that you have had to give up your aged care work that would presumably, have been a source of self-esteem, confidence, and social interaction for you. That is apart from any income you may have received for the work you were doing.
The loss of these activities in our life and the threat of diminished activity in the future is, I believe a contributor to a type of grief that is very real and leads to the depression that you are currently experiencing.
All this is compounded by the physical pain that you are feeling and the need for medication that you may not be accustomed to taking.
As I have said to someone else in a slightly different context but I think it applies in your situation;
“It is natural to become fearful and anxious when our options are artificially restricted, as they are for you at the present time. I believe your reactions are very normal.”
You are dealing with the diagnosis of chronic disease, chronic pain, disruption of balance and equilibrium in your life, the feeling of uselessness and consequent anger, the inability to do the things that you feel should be normal in your life, and the awareness of the loss of control in the areas of your life that are important to you.
It really is not surprising that you are reacting the way you are. I too, suffer a disability, and it has taken me quite a while to become aware and accept that my disability is apparent to everyone else, and then, for me to graciously accept the offers of assistance that now, so often come my way. Indeed, I say 'so often' because it is a source, for me, of great admiration for our community and country that so many people are so aware and generous. This really is a positive aspect of life in this country of which, unfortunately, we hear too little.
The acceptance of the support offered, I think, requires a considerable degree of humility. We are in a new situation where we need to be able to accept from others what we have previously given of ourselves.
These feelings that you have at the present time, have built up over a relatively long period. Consequently, it might be an idea to have a chat with your doctor about them and how those feelings are affecting your life.
I sincerely hope that you will find access to the resources that you need now and into the future. In the meantime you are welcome to browse the forum for any other ideas and information that you may feel will help you deal with the issues you are facing. I and other forum members would be very happy to chat with you about your feelings, ideas that you might like to 'bounce' with other members, and also of your progress, positive or negative at any given time.
With my Very Best Wishes
HenryX
