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Rainy Day Self Reflection

Rainy Day Self Reflection

its raining today and Ive spent the day drinking Iced coffee and thinking about lots of things mainly relationships and where Im heading personally which direction I am going,while feeling this way I watched a movie Called Amelia about Amelia Areheart and her life story her goals and travels things she acomplished ,my phones been buzzing alot today from potential online dates but Im staying true to the one Guy whove Ive gotten to know the most although we havnt met as yet ,Im trying to not have so much high expectations of myself ,take things a bit more calmly and slower although Id love to meet him real soon ,we will meet sooner rather than later,Ive had my first counselling session by phone which is good and since then I havnt been bragging as such about my personal problems,as for my personal safety while dating I do need to think more carefully about ways to keep myself safe just in case but I do want to meet this man probably for lunch in a few weeks time but till then Ill keep talking to him ,Im not so lovesick/infactuated like I was for a while,Ive eased up a bit,at the momment I am not really talkative to the few family who do know about him,Im figuring out my own thoughts and feelings and prefer to do that at a distance from family for the time being ,I geuss Im trying to understand myself more and learn what it is Im looking for in a man and from a man and maybe also looking at and thinking about what it is Im trying to find within myself,maybe freedom,a sense of bellonging but also a bit of reckless adventre with a man,for now its a quiet and resting weekend,Im more gaurded with my feelings,might watch another movie ,anyway hows everyone else going today?

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In response to: Rainy Day Self Reflection

Re: Rainy Day Self Reflection

still pondering questions and thoughts in my mind as I listen to relaxing music

In response to: Re: Rainy Day Self Reflection

Re: Rainy Day Self Reflection

questions about all kinds of things,and thoughts too all random my desire to be be a wife and mother one day well its more of a longing feeling,thoughts of my parents,would my father be dissapointed or proud,thoughts of my mother I dont feel loved by my mother,thoughts of the guy I worry so much about the little details and yet the bigger things I dont worry much about? thinking about asking for directions,what is my direction?,Ive waited so long it seems to find someone a man to be with,why is it that I feel as though when I go after my own wants and needs I fear that by doing that it somehow causes others needs to fall apart,almost as if Ive filled a role for others almost too well,which makes it hard to leave others to follow my needs,to take my true place of where I want and need to be.its hard to not let that fear control my emotions to say no when really all I want to say is yes ,yes to someone and somrthing I like and need and feel empty and alone without

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