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Something’s not right

I had a dream

Unknown userMember

I had a dream

Yesterday was a nightmare, I cannot begin to explain how but again I am full of disappointment and hopelessness.

I took some medication to help me sleep because it was so bad, and slept until about 12:00pm today, then napped again at around 4:00pm, I just kept following the lull of sleep and just did not feel like waking up; especially when life is a nightmare. Eventually got up and had my dinner but during my nap I had a dream.

I dreamt of the experiences and aspects of human life, my brain looking for meaning and purpose. It came to the conclusion that there is no purpose or meaning, just the unrelenting existence and reality of life until I die. I feel more numb than before, I fall further and further every day, into the pit, and sinking deeper into the quicksand of life.

It seems that it just does not matter what happens to me or with me, I do not matter, everyone in my life has shown me time and time again. I am just something to take from, receive from, lean on, cry on, use and then leave behind.

I stopped caring long ago, I simply exist. My dog is the one and only I hold onto.

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In response to: I had a dream

Unknown userMember

Re: I had a dream

@Jynx thank you

In response to: I had a dream

Unknown userMember

Re: I had a dream

Thank you again everyone.

I am not coping very well and I am so lost but your support means a lot, especially right now.

I hope you all have someone caring in your lives.

In response to: I had a dream

Unknown userMember

Re: I had a dream

Just thought I would give you all an update.

I made carrot cake today... It is still in the oven and I made way too much (about 4 litres of cake batter) and it is the only thing I achieved today but I think it helped me ground myself.

Thank you so much to everyone who commented, your support helped me through those days I did not have it in me to get by on my own.

@Shaz51 @Jynx @Mazarita @Appleblossom @TideisTurning

In response to: Re: I had a dream

MazaritaSenior Contributor

Re: I had a dream

Hi @Former-Member happy just having some company here has helped you through. Making the carrot cake sounds like it has helped you to regain some calm as well. I feel better today because I had a shower and dressed nicely (bad days I don't do that), and went for a spontaneous walk in a nature place. The birds there are so lively, several different kinds.

In response to: Re: I had a dream

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: I had a dream

Love to have some carrot cake @Former-Member

You can freeze some

Way to go for yesterday @Mazarita xx

In response to: Re: I had a dream

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: I had a dream

Havent made that cake in yearz.

Onya @Former-Member

Freeze half, give some away.

WTG.

In response to: Re: I had a dream

Unknown userMember

Re: I had a dream

@Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Mazarita

Thank you for your continued support, wish I could give you all some.

I made the cake for my colleagues (they went straight for it, they ask me every now and then when am I going to bake again?) and well, there was enough to make another cake and muffins; so some for home.

(Have some dog love).

Take care.

In response to: Re: I had a dream

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: I had a dream

great that you found a good way of weaving your inner and outer worlds ... sounds as if it was a social win.

Cheers Apple

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