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Self harm

destructiveSenior Contributor10 Mar 2021, 8:52 pm AEDT

Self harm

Not sure if I'm allowed to post about this but I'm really struggling with this at the moment. I just feel like and overwhelming waste of space. Actually more than that, I'm not just a waste a space but tuen everything around me to s***. Then I self harm and I can see it but can't stop myself and I think my view of what's not too bad is distorted like someone with an earring disorders view of their body is. It's getting harder and harder for me to know what's bad or not, what I really should get treatment for or not. I think because there are so many barriers that I tell myself it's not so bad. How do I know when I need help? Or even better how do I stop it even getting to that point if I feel not in control. Like a robot.
apologies if this is not ok to write about. I'm not sure on the rules on it

14 replies

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In response to: Self harm

Shaz51Senior Contributor11 Mar 2021, 8:56 pm AEDT

Re: Self harm

Ohhh @destructive

Have you got a coping box, things that you like , reading, puzzles , music etc

In response to: Re: Self harm

destructiveSenior Contributor11 Mar 2021, 9:09 pm AEDT

Re: Self harm

Thanks @Former-Member @and @BPDSurvivor

@Shaz51 I do have some grounding stuff I'm meant to be practicing thanks for the reminder. It weird though I feel like the more I do that the more I feel hazy and odd. Like I'm stuck halfway between here and nowhere. I don't know if that's a bad thing or not but it feels unnerving. was going to try and tell psych about it but had to cancel this weeks appointment

In response to: Re: Self harm

Shaz51Senior Contributor11 Mar 2021, 9:19 pm AEDT

Re: Self harm

I know what you mean my @destructive

My Mr shaz is feeling like that too at the moment

How about writing down what you were going to talk about it to your phych and keep it for the next appt

In response to: Re: Self harm

destructiveSenior Contributor14 Mar 2021, 8:43 pm AEDT

Re: Self harm

@Shaz51 Yeah I will try say something next appointment if I can. Speaking is hard for me. It's so frustrating.

does MrShaz know why that happens? I'm not sure if it's cause I'm getting worse or maybe just because I'm paying attention to it now. It was amazing when T asked me to look around home and choose 'anchors' because I realised I don't really even notice. Couldn't choose anything though. Something about a physical object in a place being not right. Don't know why.

I am really having some strong urges again tonight which worries me because of how bad that last one was. I'm feeling not so in control of how bad it gets. I use to be able to negotiate with myself but doesn't seem to be working. I think there is some stuff at the surface that I don't want to acknowledge and so part of me maybe (still getting use to that idea) is wanting to squash it all down.

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