Stuck in depression

@Sombercat So glad to see you reply. If you don't mind me asking, what's your age? I just turned 33 last week. I'm getting to this weird point where a lot of healing comes with age but also I think I've put in th work to achieve that.

I signed up maybe a week ago because I'm so so painfully lonely and also felt as though being hidden behind a screen helps. As I'm not someone to shout on the rooftops that IM SAD. Etc. would love to keep the chats up with you! 🙂

Looks like I forgot to press post when I tried to reply. So had to rewrite it again.

@Dew3 that's correct. We have a few psychologists and then some counsellors. I don't think there is any support groups in my area.

I don't really have someone I trust at work. I get along with the sales staff, but being up in the office away from everyone makes fostering relationships really hard.

I don't think we have anything like that. I'd be surprised if we did.

Funny enough I ended up taking this last week just gone off with gastro. It was bad. And I'm still feeling under the weather. But I ended up in emergency twice. Even though I was sick and miserable because I was sick, my mood was pretty low still. I wasn't as stressed, but I was stressed about knowing what I would have to do when I came back to work.

There is no chance to go back to the 15 hours.
I'm doing 30 hours a week. And a different role which brings more stress. And the added expectations make it harder.
I don't think I will ever be able to work full time hours. I did so a few years back, and with my mental health appointments it was so hard to do during lunch and the employer was quite rude about it all in the end, and (in my opinion) unfairly dismissed me from work.

@Leggs I'm 25
I can understand with time and growth and work healing comes. I have worked through a heap and while I have started to heal and understand myself, there is so much that I just haven't gotten through and resist going to. Or I block it out and I cannot recall any details when with my psychologist.

It's been 2 months since I was last online - it doesn't feel like that long ago.

Nothing has improved. I feel miserable. Everyday feeling closer to just handing in my resignation. The only thing stopping me is the trying to find work afterwards. Part of me wants to just give in and just hide in bed all day everyday and just wait it out. But I know it doesn't work that way, at least in the long term.

I have been conflicted with the prospect of applying for roles with significantly less hours. I kind of need the money to try and move out, but it just doesn't seem plausible and I doubt I'd cope anyway.

How does one accept the fact they can only work a small amount of hours a week in order to feel sane?