Guilt

So many changes in my life right now, mostly good but are requirings some really big adjustments, Ive started a full time job after 20 years of not working in an organisation with other people and being expected to work at regular times instead of working for myself and working when I was well and able to, i think im coping pretty well considering that my whole body ages, I feel exhaustedly tired all the time and my anxiety of a morning before work has been extreme, i cry everymorning on the drive to work ,but once im there I can shut it off.

but the thing that is bothering me the most is that I'm still struggling with my daughter, I've given myself a day off work today because everything has just gotten too much for me and the thing that bugs me the most is that I still feel like I'm never doing enough to help my daughter, my partner says that my daughter is now old enough to help around the house and not expect me to do everything for her and that she hasn't the right to behave in a way that makes me feel the way I do, that she behaves the way she does because she knows how guilty and sad it makes me feel, but hearing that makes me feel even sadder, that I have raised a child that is either oblivious to how she makes others feel or even worse, knows how she makes me feel and continue to behave that way.

I know its been hard with my depression, mood swings, low tolerance, and anxiety, I

know I haven't been easy to live with but I have always tried to show her affection and tried to provide the best I can with the little money I used to get on my pension and family payment from the government. I really thought that if i went back to school and tried really hard, got a job that maybe my daughter would change her tune, start caring about her future and maybe a little nice to me. but she is still not much different, every time I try to make some positive changes she takes them the wrong way and say that i make her feel like she is stupid or something , this is not my intention , I just want her to be able to survive when she leaves school , I feel very scared for her and that i have failed her as her mother, i just want her to be happy, she hardly smiles and when I talk to her about it sheget upset with me and say its just the way her face is and i should stop talking about it .