Trauma holds me hostage

Hello @Evie1

I'm sorry you have had to struggle with trauma.
I've also had trouble with trauma and panic attacks and what I call 'melt downs' in public. My combinations of Borderline Personality Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress disorder are not a good mix.
What worked for me was finding the right medication and moving away from where my trauma happened.
I read a lot of books to give me ideas on how to better control my emotions and to help better my mental health.
It's important to have someone to go to when you are at your worst. I've talked to my partner about what I'd like him to do when I'm having my melt downs. My doggy is a big support for me. Since a puppy she has comforted me during melt downs by licking away my tears.
I would often wonder why I suffer from PTSD and why my trauma affects me so much. I'd think "people have gone through way worse than me, I shouldn't be like this". But as I've been told many times, just because there's people out there that have gone through worse that doesn't mean that mine still doesn't hurt.

Make sure you get disability support where you are getting your study @Evie1 . When I went to La Trobe I was able to get extra support. My exams were done in a seperate room to everyone else. Just me and my teacher. I wasn't able to do exams around other people, I'd just break down in front of everyone in the room.

@PlantLover I relate tomorrow i start my classes I'm having a zoom meeting with my disability officer tomorrow to chat about how I can feel support and not freak out and have more panic attacks with the tears I had one it lasted 4 hours once my body started to manage it i was so tired the next day I was beyond humiliated and tired I didn't step foot on campus again

Oh @Evie1 😩

I honestly completely understand. I've been in the same position. I have found an amazing medication that I take each night. If I have a melt down during the day and can't get out of it myself I take another low dose of it and it calms me down and stops the melt down completely. A rule is that I can't mention the medication. Do you take any medication to help you settle your anxiety and panic attacks?

@PlantLover I have meds but I refuse to take anti depressants because I don't have clinical depression I've been screened by a youth psychologist and youth psychiatrist negative result I'm on anti psychotic medication A typical they put me to sleep

@Evie1 You might be on the same medication as me. I also take an anti psychotic and it helps me to sleep. I can't sleep without it.

They make me very drowsy