keepcoolCasual Contributor
Not sure if partner got narcissistic personality disorder or have severed depression
Hi I want to have some perspective on my partner, the last two or so years he is becoming isolated and withdrawn he kept asking for divorce but don't really ending up separating partly because I don't want to coz of our young children. He seems up and down and got worse when two of our older children got seriously sick last year( 2020) both needed long term treatment and trips to hospital. He became increasingly agitated and mostly towards me and my eldest son, if he's on good mood we're all ok, if he's on bad mood we definitely know because he is angry and says bad things to me like I'm not a good mum or my eldest son that he is stubborn and doesn't listen, basically he wants to manipulate and control everything and he always has a say on something and on big decisions he would not let me decide or if I go against it he makes sure I am going to pay by either ignoring me or belittling me or humiliating me in front of our kids or other people in the house. He is always suspicious and not trusting me, like if I changed shift fr am to pm or pm to am without prior notice, he would accuse me of lying, he always checks my phone and bank account, he demands to know where I am if I am not at home, he yells and screams at me when he is agitated for small issues at home and same with my eldest he treats him like a trash and no value, he hide my car key one time because he doesn't want me to go to work, he hates me having credit card, but he's got his own one, he doesn't trust my friends, he accuses me of being lesbian, just coz one time I had a coffee chat with a coworker lady at work, which when I asked him prior he says yes I can go, he hates the house not clean but he hardly cleans it, he says everything is messy even though it's not too bad, he constantly worries and overthinks, even when me and kids are watching tv he says we shouldn't waste time or when we listen to music he says don't if it's not his preferred music, he wants the family to look perfect and he acts like perfect in front of other people and he constantly wants attention or adoration from all of us but if he gets criticised for even the tiniest reason he is touchy or in denial , he is arrogant most of the time, putting people down and worst he thinks he is superior and a special person though he is pretty normal and average,,, that's only some of my past experiences and if I did something wrong he goes back as to 10 years of my 'sins' I don't know what else to do. He won't admit of any wrong doing in our relationship as he thinks he is perfect, I couldn't get him sit down couple counselling and he only wants divorce right now even if my kids will suffer and my two children still getting treatment for serious health condition. I couldn't prove to my family and friends that he acts weird and bullies me because his image to them is good dad and really nice person, even though I've been subjected to emotional and verbal abuse, I love him he used to be very good and affectionate but now this is a complete stranger and I want him to be helped but I don't know how if he won't admit he needs help. I tried talking to people friends and family but as far as I know when they talk to him I am the bad person and he is my victim. I am confused, heart broken, and don't know what to do, we are together for 19 years already it's just so sad.
