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Don’t know what to do

Flower_childNew Contributor26 Dec 2020, 4:19 pm AEDT

Don’t know what to do

I just made this account, I've never used this before. I'll try to explain everything but I don't even know if I can put it into words.

I struggled with Christmas Day but I thought I made it through. Then on the way home my mum's (drunk) partner said something stupid and I told him to stop. Then he started yelling at me, then my sister lost it and my mum too.

I stayed at my mum's house that night. I had a few panic attacks and was just scared in general. I left her house early in the morning as I was scared of any additional fights.

I've been in bed all day feeling really anxious and low. I can't eat or walk around. I was hoping my mum would call or text me today but she hasn't. I think she's really angry. I'm too scared to call her. I recently changed meds and haven't had ECT due to Christmas changes.

I'm really scared. My thoughts are all really negative. I've kept myself safe previously by reminding my self of the hurt it will cause on my family. Now I can't contact her and I just feel like I have no reason to be here. I don't know exactly how these forums work but if anyone's felt like this please let me know

2 replies

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In response to: Don’t know what to do

Unknown userMember26 Dec 2020, 5:06 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t know what to do

Hey there @Flower_child,

Welcome to the SANE forums. I'm one of the moderators. I'm glad you've reached out to us today. I can see yesterday was a tough day and you've been left feeling really anxious and down. It's ok to be feeling that way. I am concerned about your wellbeing today so i’m going to check in privately via email. Keep an eye out for that!

Don’t hesitate to ask questions of the forums team by writing @Moderator or by asking questions of members. Also the Guidelines can be good for getting an idea of how it all works and what we can share here. Our wonderful forum members will be able to offer you some support and connection.

Warm regards,
Sphinxly 🐣

In response to: Don’t know what to do

Zoe7Senior Contributor26 Dec 2020, 7:53 pm AEDT

Re: Don’t know what to do

Christmas can be a difficult time @Flower_child but when alcohol is involved it can be een trickier. You had every right to voice your concern and nobody deserves to be yelled at. I can certainly hear your fear in what you have had to deal with and the ongoing concern you have about bringing it all up again. You though are the first priority here and it seems that leaving was what you needed to feel safe. It is a horrible position to be in - especially when you do not know if those involved are going to continue the abuse. But you do deserve to be here and you do deserve support so I am very pleased you have found us here. Many of us here have encountered this type of conflict or abuse and I believe you should be very proud of yourself for sticking up for what you believe. It doesn't change what has happened or the ongoing position you are in with your Mum - that is super hard - but maybe let it all die down a little and then approach your Mum. Sometimes allowing time for these types of conflict to die down and having some sace from it can help in decreasing the emotions around it. Whatever you decide - the community is here with you.

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