Lack of Work Motivation

Hi @Tiggeroo (love that username!!)

Welcome to the Forums 🙂

We have a number of members who are supporting their husband - @Maple @Tatsinda @M_A @Faith-and-Hope just to name a few. I wonder if anyone else has encountered a similar issue with their hubby?

I'm curious to know a bit more about what makes him feel this way about work. Is it that he finds the line of work unfulfilling? Does he have another interest or passion that he prefers to pursue that work impeaches on? It's good to hear at least his employer is supportive and understanding when he needs to have some time off. He must be a good at what he does to be promoted so quickly. Though being good at what we do doesn't necessarily translate into loving what we do. It's understandable stopping work all together is not an option financially and wouldn't help his mental health anyway. But I wonder, is there any capacity to move down to part-time? Even just having one extra day to ourselves each week can be hugely rejuvenating and can carve out more margin to focus on self-care and recovery goals etc. Obviously it depends on your unique situation of course. Look forward to hearing more from you @Tiggeroo !

Hi

My partner also has Bipolar, and her episodes are usually on the depressive side. I feel to share a little of my experience in case it helps you in any way.

When she is depressed, it alters the way she thinks, feels and experiences the world. She can't just snap out of it. It seems like there is a darkness over everything - a darkness that doesn't respond to logic or most other things,

I have come to come to see the depression as a illness, and just like I wouldn't expect someone with a fever to 'just snap out of it', neither can I expect her to.

The depression has to run its course, and as it eases, she sees the world in a more balanced way. We are learning more about what actually helps her when she is depressed. She has found an antidepressant that is really helpful, and we can increase and decrease her dose based on her needs (with the Dr guiding us), and that is good. When she is depressed, she seems to spiral down if she is left alone very much, so I try to be beside her as much as I am able. I try to keep her participating in life a little more than she wants to, because that seems to help too. She feels like lying in a dark room but that seems to get her more stuck. Some studies find even light exercise to be very helpful.

I also want to acknowledge you. I really do. Supporting someone with bipolar is one of the hardest and most thankless and isolating things I have done in my life. What you are doing is really hard, and I think you, and everyone who is doing it, is amazing! Trying to support hI'm to keep working, because you both need the income, but he is not well, and doesn't really want to work, is really hard.

I hope your Dr can perhaps help with adjusting meds in some way. We are very careful adjusting meds when she is unwell because we have found that she can get worse very easily - but it is all about careful trial and error.

All the best.

My boy is almost back!

Well he is back at work and showing motivation so fingers crossed we just continue up the hill to our happy place again!

@GiveAndReceive the good times are definetly more than worth the bad... and trust me... we have had some bad times haha... I find telling myself (and my partner) that his depressive behaviour isnt normal, and that he wont be like this forever helps. I feel like i am almost convincing both of us that we are going to be ok. I think from his perspective that it helps because whilst he isnt feeling hopeful himself he can see I am, so he feels like he should try for me, more than for him, which helps push him through the tough times when he just wants to give up.

xx

Tigs

Hello @Tiggeroo, @GiveAndReceive, @Former-Member

How are you today ??

Hope you are ok , been thinking of you

Right on @Hopeless xoxo

Hello @Tiggeroo, It is soooooo great to hear from you , it has been a long time but you are here my friend

You and your mum are Awesome and what an awesome achievement for your boy., sending you all hugs

Hey @Hopeless,

There is always hope!!! Even on the darkest of days.

Bipolar boy is bouncing back on his new meds and i am really hopeful he will be able to find a path to his own happiness career wise. I have told him i dont care what he does, as long as it brings him happiness that is what matters to me.

I find he works well within structure and routine so i was worried when he resigned that he would lose that structure but he has found a way to create it for himself each day which is truely amazing. We write a task list each night together for the next day and it consists of jobs such as cleaning and shopping, walking the dogs, getting out in the garden and keeping a mood journal... and it is working!

thanks for the hugs @Shaz51, its good to be back... i am sure a lot of carers find this but i find when my partner goes off the rails, i struggle to hold on myself. His moods really unbalance my life and even though i work full time so spend much of the days away from him, the constant worry about whether he is ok drives me a little crazy myself. This depression episode being so much worse for him than any others, i found myself slipping further down the rabbit hole than i usually do so i had to call in for back up, luckliy my amazing mum flew over from interstate and took over daily caring for him so i could focus on my job and keeping myself healthy, and she "mummed" him back to a healthy place.

My parents have just holidayed in NZ and stopped in to check up on us on the way home and mum agrees the improvement in my partner over the last 3 weeks is amazing. I am so glad to be on our way back to stability!

xx

Tigz