Consequences of BPD impulsive actions

Hi @Andrab,

That sounds really tough. I'm going to tag a few members who may have other insights to share @BPDSurvivor @Judi9877 @BlueBay You may also like to check out this thread

Hi @Andrab !

Thank you for sharing and reaching out on these forums.

The marked impulsivity of pwBPD can be quite problematic at times. For example, with all good intentions, an appointment is set, then at the very last moment, cancels. Another is example is being able to be 'good' and save money, then all of a sudden, goes on a spending splurge to undo all the good work.

I've lived with these impulses for a long time now. I have now learnt to manage these impulses much much better. You have mentioned that your daughter is willing to take meds but not so willing to attend therapy. Honestly speaking, medication only helps alleviate some of the symptoms that comes with BPD, but the actualy work is done through therapy. For example, medication can help reduce anxiety so that she is more able to attend therapy; or medication can help with insomnia so she is more able to concentrate when in therapy. However, medication in its own does not 'cure' BPD.

BPD recovery is about developing a different mindset. Consider, it has taken a lifetime for your daughter to develop the BPD mindset she currently has, and hence it will take a long time to unlearn unhelpful habits and relearn helpful habits.

I suffered from BPD tremendously for over 10 years. However, I can now say I live very successfully with BPD and am no longer a 'sufferer'. If anything, I have learnt so much from having BPD and have learnt to embrace it and grow from it.

I have had an incredible journey with BPD, to the point where I can say i'm so glad I have it. I took meds such as antidepressants, mood stabilisers, anti-anxiety and insomnia meds while going through talking therapy (MBT), and as I developed strategies and practised new skills, I gradually tapered off my medication. I am still on a low dose of anti-anxiety and sleeping meds, but definitely working towards coming off meds completely.

All in all, meds have their part to play in my BPD recovery in that they prepared me for therapy, but the main work is done through talking therapy and by the individual. It IS hard work, and an individual must be ready to push themselves outside their comfort zone in order to see a difference. It is a lifestyle change, not just a crash-course of meds. It takes time.

There is hope. I've proved it.

All the best,

BPDSurvivor

Also, feel free to join our BPD community on Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

Thanks @TideisTurning for tagging me!

Hi @Andrab

I'm sorry your daughter has been diagnosed with BPD.

I was diagnosed 10 years ago at age 44 with BPD as well as ptsd, depression and anxiety.

I guess it is very hard to make someone go to therapy; or to say to someone that they need to go to therapy. For me, I was older and had a lot of ptsd issues relating to my childhood. I had a psychologist, pyschiatrist for meds and after a little while I was admitted to a private mental health unit hospital. I was there for a few weeks and there was where i started to attend group therapy. It was not compulsory but it was recommended - to asist in recovery or manage recovery.

it taught me a lot - that i wasn't the only person who had BP or other mental health issues. I joined in and heard other people talk about their issues and it was nice just to make a connection with others. Everybody was so nice, we all knew we had a mental health issue.

After dischsarge it was recommended that i continue group therapy as an outpatient. I attended two different groups; one was yoga and the other was CBT (cognitive behavaviour therapy). I did this for a while.

Over the ten years I can say that I really enjoy group therapy. It helps me make connections with others from all different walks of life; ages and backgrounds.

Does your daughter see a psychologist? Perhaps he/she can help her with regards to the anxiety. I do understand what you mean about impulsive actions. I've done many many times. Even the other day, I sent off an email which was an impulsive thing for me and then the consequences aren't so great.

But i believe that impuilisveness is part of BPD.

I really hope your daughter can get some help. DBT (dialectical behavouir therapy) is the one type of therapy that is great for people with BPD.

I know that @BPDSurvivor is a great advocate for BPD sufferers and has a lot of knowledge.

Happy to chat or answser any questions any time.

good luck xx

Thank you all for your advice and support. I suppose the issue I face is that my daughter is only 22 and thinks that she can do her own "Self therapy". Whilst medidation, listening to music and excersise most definitley helps, I agree with what you've said that meds can take the edge off the depression/anxiety/ptsd etc, but it's the Talk Therapy done in conjunction, that helps.

I can only suggest it again, but do understand that by taking on too many activities - they may all end up in disaster.

The plan yesterday was for her psychiatrist to refer her to a psychologist, or a CBT or DBT group - but the panic attack got the better of her.

I will continue to encourage group therapy.

Just one question - as I may not be able to get my daughter to attend, are there DBT groups that I could attend and learn the skills to use for myself, which in turn I could somehow pass on?