New diagnosis of BPD

Welcome to the Sane forum James.

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Hello @james_biss

I have lived in the Hunter Valley, but not for many years.

Reaching out and sharing is not a typical Aussie male style of interaction, but manliness is many things and YOU get to define it.

I am sorry about your marriage difficulties and I wish you the best for reconciliation. It is very difficult to sustain a bond of affection in the hurly burly of life and parenting.

The difficulties facing men and women can seem different, but I always focus on our similarities. We only have a few different bits and a lot of the rest is floods of hormones. We shouldnt make it a battle of the sexes .. despite my "I'm half bloke joke" we are different and the challenge is setting our own goals in harmony with each other and the universe ... not against .. or in polarisation.

Easier said than done.

regards Apple

Hi @james_biss, Welcome! In this forum you will never be judged here, I have had serious mood problems when I have been unwell and I have also been on the receiving end as well. The first positive is you are aware now, so you can take steps to help yourself and your wife. It is a good sign that you are noticing what has happened and you know why. Was your wife with you at the doctors when you were diagnosed? Talking to your wife as you did in this post and showing her you want to get help and your sorry, can begin the healing journey. Try to be more compassionate to yourself, so you can focus on getting well. There is a mens help line which you can ring and find out whats on offer. Mensline Australia on 1300789978. Online at mensline.org.au Was your diagnosis done by a Psyciatrist? or GP? If so, I would ask your GP to refer you to a Mental Health Outpatient Service in your area, because there is so much that can be done to help you. i take medication for my mood and its feels good to not lose it as much as i was over the least thing. I am also more aware and can have better control of myself. I found going to groups where they were run by volunteers in the acute phase not helpful, because I was easily set off by well meaning but not trained group leaders. I went in to the mental health outpatients which was better for me as i needed to learn new coping skills, counselling and meds. Having a good GP who knows your area and whats on offer is good to. All the best from @1stepup61

If only the difficulties were surrounding the differences between women and men. It is not. I have realised that my behaviour is key to what is going wrong and I need to get some support. There seems to be a fair bit out there for non-BP persons, but not much for BP's.

Am I wrong?

Hi there 1stepup61,

My wife was with the psychiatrist after she gave me the diagnosis of BPD. She read a book called "How to stop walking on egg shells", rather disturbing and certainly not positive when it comes to relationships, but maybe that's my spin on things. We are working through things, but I cannot, nor can she, gaurentee anything.

Mensline: Do they understand BPD do you think, or is it just a general counselling line?

I am on meds and seeing a psychologist. My GP, I think, does not know much about BPD - but I am just in the infant stage of realisation of the mental health illness myself, so who am I to judge. Time will tell.

Thanks for the info 1stepup61

How can I access this?

Hi @james_biss,

i just wanted to say hi and welcome. I have DPD with BPD traits. I found by googling it and reading as many articles as I could helped, went through many pages of BPD on google rather than the first couple when I was first diagnosed. Much of it was repetitive. My social worker at the time photocopied and gave to my kids the fact sheet from sane on BPD at the time a long time before I came to the forums. I think that when I did DBT and I actually met people who experienced similar things helped me to realise that there were many who had similar experiences and difficulties and accept it better. There are many of us on here (although mostly women) who have a diagnosis of BPD. I think it fantastic you are trying to work through it, that will make a big difference. I also found my GP to not know much about it and he had to learn with me a bit, my new GP only knows the basics but she is able to acknowledge that part of me and says that my mental health professionals are the ones to help me work on recovery. I have a therapist who I like and helps me the most now. I take medication as well. Good luck and feel free to ask any questions as well. If you type BPD in the search bar of this page you will find lots of people and their experiences with BPD. Good luck on your journey, I think it's fantastic your wife is actively involved, I'm sure that will help. 💜😊