my recent Behaviour doesnt make sense to family,I now have to somehow it explain it to them the isolation feeling ect

ps im not sure if their doing it out of judgement or concern hard to tell cause its by message,my reaction at the moment is oh now im in trouble but that could be my messed up thinking that ive let transpire lately

maybe it was a silent way of crying for help rather than having to use my words to explain how I feel to them

@LostAngel It can be bery hard to take ownership of our less desirable behaviours, and I should know because I can be a right ass. I personally don't see anything wrong with saying what you've written here, it's honest, and says everything that needs to be said. But, it's entirely up to you how much you want to share with them. If somewhere in the conversation you can acknowledge their side of it, that always helps to lower peoples defences and makes it easier for them to hear you. As in, try to think how they felt after you deleted the messages and such. Did they feel sad, upset, angry, confused? Acknowledging how they are feeling helps break down those defensive barriers and makes them more susceptible to hearing you. Another thing, take your time in responding, hours if you need it. Try not to act on emotion. You can even send them a message saying you want to chat but you're busy today so might be a delay in responding--also to help lower their defences.

Best of luck with it

@LostAngel when I am too emotional, or too messed up, or too exhausted or whatever - to deal with my family, or his family, or the outside world per se... I reply with "not coping - will talk when I'm ok again"

That way they don't feel ignored, I have every right then not to answer any more messages, those that truly care respond with "let me know if you need me" or "what can I do" - or even take me at my word and wait for me.

those that don't care are the ones that keep making demands, but I can ignore them because I've politely explained why I'm off air and if they choose to ignore me that's their problem

I even did it to my boss this week.. stayed in bed Monday & Tuesday but I'm back on deck today, no questions asked.

good luck x

Hi @LostAngel,

That sounds like a really tough situation to try and navigate. I've often found it really hard to explain things like the effects of my mental health to different people in my life. For me, the way I explain things, and how much I explain depends on a few things:
1. how close I am to the person as this will effect how comfortable and safe I feel sharing with them
2. what kind of mental state I'm in and how easily the person is likely to understand (i.e. am I relatively calm and more able to be patient explaining things in more detail if this is needed or am I in more of a crisis state where I need them to understand fairly quickly)? Are they likely to understand at all? (some people get it much better than others, and so I've found that with the people that struggle to understand, I usually keep the explanations to a minimum, as it can take a lot to explain everything when i'm in crisis-mode).
3. whether I need the person to do something to support me- if the answer to this is 'yes', depending on the person, I usually like to have an idea in my head of what this support might ideally look like so I can be really clear with the person (do I need them to sit and just listen without trying to fix, do I need them to distract me or do I need them to just be with me for example). A few things I find helpful in terms of actually explaining are to reference a show or character the other person is familiar with that has similar effects to you- you could even pick a character or show you relate to for these reasons and share it as part of your explanation. Sometimes, this can also provide for an ongoing reference to help you going forward. One other really important thing to remember also is that you don't have to say more than you want to. You are in control here, so I'd encourage you to share what you feel comfortable and safe to do so, with whom you feel safe and comfortable. Hope that helps a little!

TideisTurning 😊