@Maggie
Dissociation is the same psychic mechanism for most trauma. It does not need to be a fully fledged DID . I will look at it.
Today I have had all sorts of weird heart palpitations, anxiety and carry ons trying to integrate stuff. Tells me I must have dissociated a huge amount without being aware. Bringing it all to bear in consciousness is hard. Lucky I plan to go to gp tomorrow, so I hope I will be able to talk about it with her. I have NEVER been able to talk about this stuff with psychologist, they just did not have the equipment (eg. education), but wanted to go on side chats about their own little thesis on romance or whatever it was, without looking at basic processes. I like back to basics.