Newly integrating with CPTSD

@Ekulnailuj Welcome to the forums.

I’ve just had a look at some threads related to CPTSD and PTSD. If you go to the bottom of the page where all the forums areas are listed, you will find it there. I hope some if it is helpful.

I have CPTSD plus others labels, so I understand some of your journey.

Living in a bubble, and returning to life again takes adjustment. Go gently with it, and give yourself time.

You are welcome to look around and join us in any conversations.

Good Morning is a good place to meet some others here, it all depends on who is around, and when.

The @ brings a dropdown and is how we tag each other.

I hope to see you around.

Hey @Ekulnailuj

Sounds like you've been on a journey the past 13 months, and congrats on achieving sobriety. I see you say you're in a remote area, so this may be difficult, but are you able to get support from a trauma informed therapist? A psychologist who specialises in Trauma, or even better, one who specialises in CPTSD is going to make a world of difference in dealing with past and conquering present day challenges. If it's possible, try doing a google search and see if there are trauma informed psychologists in your area, or in the closest city, that you can reach out to. I know my psychologist has been doing sessions online and via phone for clients since the coronavirus pandemic. So even though you are remote, there may still be therapists available to you.

A well informed trauma psychologist and leaning on support networks via online forums would be my top recommendations for you right now. If you haven't already come across HAVOCA, the folks online there are immensely helpful and all have experience in dealing with trauma.

All the best with your journey

Hello

It's hard having CPTSD. I'm 48 yrs and was diagnosed at age 17. It's a long road but one that you can be functionable in. I work full-time , pay a mortgage, have 3 cats and doing the best I can.

The things which have helped me are _

-Linking in with a counsellor who has experience with trauma and a person you feel safe with. Safe is a multiple term which for me means, able to truthly and openly talk with them without judgement, pitty and repercussions. The counsellor was also a mentor for me as I work in the field. The counsellor has retired but I still see her every now and then. I did counselling with her for over 10yrs. She knows my story and is the only person who does

-taking the right medication for you. It's a life journey and excepting that is the hard part. Knowing that you will be on medication for the rest of your life is overwhelming but once you accept it it become easier

-staying away from toxic people, work places, environments such as for me is crowds and huge shopping

Oops...

Huge shopping centres

- doing and learning things I enjoy. For me that's the cinemas, painting, spending time on my own with my cats, learning how to do things such as making soap, gardening

- always having an emergency funds. Saving omg, saving for that rainy day. Do you can use the money for self healing and pay bills if you are stuck

-living on my own has helped as it makes me feel safe but it can be lonely at times. Having just a couple if friends who love you for you. Who support you in the good times and bad times. Nurturing those relationships as you would with a family member who has a not toxic

-family is a hard point to define as often they are the ones who hurt you the most. Even though mumdud not protect me and she is toxic, I have decided to continue the relationship but with boundaries and when mum starts to be toxic remaining myself. Not getting into the fight and walking away. This took me years to learn and I still stuff up now. I so wanted to stick up for myself but learnt that my voice had no reference to mum as she did not hear me but wanted to continue the fight. I hope that makes sense.

- most of all bring kind to yourself. Knowing you will have your good and bad days, going with the flow and allowing your brain and soul to process the trauma. Feeling the feelings is what gets me to the next stage of recovery, a step up do to speak.

I hope this helps.

Shadowhope 😊

@Ekulnailuj I am 55 and was diagnosed with CPTSD about 10 years ago, despite living with it (now I know what it is) since I was 17 when I escaped my abusers. It has been very hard and I think knowing I will never "recover" but will gain more and more tools to manage it, has eased some of my stress over it and helped motivate me to try many potential tools to help.

I have finally found a therapist who is good having done many years with an average counselor and psychologist. My therapist is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, with a Master of Counselling and we use Internal Family Systems (IFS) as the model of therapy. To learn more about IFS there is a great book "No Bad Parts" by Richard Schwartz which will help you get a sense of whether this is something that will help you. I also watch a lot of YouTube videos and especially benefit from many of the ones created by The Crappy Childhood Fairy - https://www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy.

I find avoiding social media and the daily news cycle to be beneficial too, I get anxious enough without other people's drama and hearing constant depressing news.

I learnt a daily ritual from The Crappy Childhood Fairy that she has on her website for free. I write my fears and anxieties out twice daily in a small ritual that involves the writing & then destroying of the notes followed by a simple meditation. This is useful, I'm not sure of the science behind it but it is a theme I have seen a few times in mental well-being resources.

The usual recommendations of a good healthy diet and regular exercise is hard to maintain but when I'm doing it, they are really helpful. I built exercise into my daily routine by cycling to work which kinda made me stick with it.

I have very limited friends but was blessed to meet a woman (my wife of 24 years) who had the compassion and empathy to stay with me as my CPSTD became very apparent after our first child was born. We now have two adult children and they and my wife are my best support team, they can now recognise when I'm becoming dysregulated after a trigger and know what I need at that time.

"Normal" life is not easy after an abusive childhood but I still have good and bad periods in life and finally in my mid fifties I have a belief that my life will continue to get easier to manage as I continue to build my tool kit of coping strategies. I am still my worst critic, I still get dysregulated pretty often and I find it tiring but remain open to learning new skills to manage my cptsd.

I hope something written here has been of use and that you continue on your journey to finding your good place.