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Not sure how to get through this...

SoutherngirlNew Contributor01 Aug 2016, 7:15 pm AEST

Not sure how to get through this...

In February I started a new job as a Registered Nurse. I was doing really well up until a few weeks ago when I started getting bad anxiety. My anxiety got so bad that I was thinking about hurting myself just so I didn't have to go to work. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown. I have had a couple of weeks off work but need to go back as I need the money. I have somehow convinced the Dr that I'm fine just to get a clearance, but inside I'm freaking out about going back. I've spoken to 2 different psychologists but I feel they have not given me any answers on controlling these feelings. I seriously don't want to take medication as I feel I can get through this in other ways, just need to find what 'other ways' work.

6 replies

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In response to: Not sure how to get through this...

pipSenior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 7:48 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to get through this...

Dear Southerngirl. Can I ask what caused the anxiety attack. To be a registered nurse, you need to have finished school and studied through uni, so presumably you managed with little or no trouble. Is this your fist actual posting since qualifying? If it is, I would say the anxiety would be fairly natural. First actual job in your capacity, you would be anxious to do well, to 'prove' yourself etc. It could be just general nerves about wanting reassurance. Do you have to involve yourself in theatre nursing, operations etc, or is it just on the wards? Also I should imagine you haven't been plunged in and left to 'fly alone'. If you really feel that you can't handle the job, or you feel you need help, maybe there's a HR at work who could be of service. Also shift work can be a culture shock. Everything considered, it could be just a case of new job, new responsibility etc. I agree taking AD's at this stage would be counter-productive. See if there is a HR officer at work and try to talk to her/him.

In response to: Not sure how to get through this...

utopiaSenior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 9:05 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to get through this...

Hi @Southerngirl. Welcome. Can I ask if you did any CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) with your psychologists? I'm getting ready to go back to work after depression and anxiety. My psychologist and I will be focusing CBT on going back to work and trying to pre-empt what I may feel.
To be honest, you're not doing yourself any favours by lying to your gp about how you are coping. If you had fractured your pelvis and needed 6 months to recover - you would do it.
It's no different just because it is your brain. (& hopefully it won't take 6 months).
Starting a new job is stressful. You are doing nursing - a high stress occupation. So you need to look after your health first.
Financially- are you living with your parents? They may help. Talk to a social worker at Centrelink - they are a big help.
But look after you!

In response to: Not sure how to get through this...

SoutherngirlNew Contributor01 Aug 2016, 9:34 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to get through this...

When I talked to the psychologist today about the practices that goes on in my workplace, she couldmt believe it herself. I'm not really at liberty to say what those practices are on here but they are downright dangerous. Im scared that something really bad will happen to one of my patients and I'll be made the scapegoat. I've spoken to HR however this is their system of doing things and me being one little person would not change things. I just need to learn how to cope with this, which I'm not doing a very good job at. I've never suffered from depression or anxety before, this is totally new to me. I am an 'older' nurse and it was a lifelong dream of mine to become a nurse. I'm proud of what i have achieved and excelled at uni with mostly distinctions. I'm now thinking it was all a waste if I can't get a grip of this anxiety.

In response to: Re: Not sure how to get through this...

RedrawSenior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 10:06 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to get through this...

If the practices are a risk to people's safety then you have to say something, I have been in situations similar I would like to say they ended well but of course they didn't, but looking the other way just increases one your workload picking up the slack and two your stress and in that field the stress is already very high so the risk of severe burnout like I suffered in one of the workplaces that I didn't speak up at is a real and scary possibility and that is not something I would wish on anyone.

You may be able to adapt and fight through the outer anxiety but inside it will continue to build,

In response to: Not sure how to get through this...

utopiaSenior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 11:16 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to get through this...

Maybe you would be better in a different department or hospital @Southerngirl. That might not be fair. But having worked in the health care industry - where I got sick - depression anxiety ptsd - it's not always an industry that promotes health in their staff - nor safe practices.
And just because this workplace might not be good for you, that doesn't mean you wouldn't be a great nurse in a different environment.

In response to: Re: Not sure how to get through this...

AppleblossomSenior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 11:42 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to get through this...

I have had a current choir girlfriend withdraw from her work in aged care ... for similar reasons .. she was not even qualified ... you have done the training ...

there was a lot of debate about whether it was a good idea to even make nursing tertiary rather than practical training as it was in my day .. where all the procedures could be integrated gradually with adequate supervision.

I was always anxious in a new job ... but it did drop as I learned the new environment. Dont lose your dream to work as a nurse ... but keep looking for people with integrity .. in your current work place .. or keep an eye open to move elsewhere.

I have recently posted about a whistleblower who was shunned by his work mates ... and went and worked in another industry for 15 years to raise his family ... before returning to the same industry again, which was his passion and he is very good at, with very different protocols and environment.

Problem is once you have seen abuse ... and you stay and dont say anything .. it does become a form of collusion with the abuse .. I would be open .. making double appointments if necessary when discussing with GP or psych to get the best guidance for your situation.

I am glad some people have ethics.

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