I need some advice

Hi, @sol1214
Firstly I think it's important for him and you to dis-associate away from these labels that the "professionals" stick on people willy nilly for anything and everything that doesn't fit their limited and ignorant box of "normal"
It doesn't help anyone to buy into this idea that it's a justified and unchangeable disease of diagnosis that you simply have to "just accept" and it's just plain wrong why? because the brain is not stagnant it is maleable and capable of great transformation (neuro-plasticity), and that is precisely what is required in this situation.
now there is really so much to what you have written I could literally write a thesis on it, I see flashes of entire grids of neurological circuitry and how to transform re-direct and heal the mind, though I will just say a few things here that I hope are most helpful for you.
All "mental illness" share the same root which is identity of the individual and identifications with thoughts i.e buying into thoughts which may or may not have anything to do with reality.

So basically what is happening is fundamentally that he is buying into thoughts which are fear based, and fear is always about that which doesn't exist. The fear with this kind of jealousy is a fear of being alone, rejected, insufficient etc etc and in this case there is also a fear of losing that support and love, of losing someone who cares, and in order to feel secure the individual tells those who he feels he needs that he'll leave the life so that others stick around so that he doesn't in a sense it is a form of emotional blackmail though it's not intentional, it is out of fear and unconsciousness, yet he also knows the answer and solutions subconsciously, the reason for wanting to push you away could be a number of accumilative things, for example that he feels he is letting you down by pulling emotions left right center and thinking that he's being a burden, though my intuition say's it is more so that the fear of being cheated on or the fear of being disposable is so strong that in order to protect himself he rather be with noone so that there is no risk of being hurt, it's not personal to you, yet he also feels he needs you to fulfill him, so what can we do?
well it's not your job to fulfill him and sooner or later he's going to have to face that, it can be a bumpy and terrible ride of heartbreak for both or it can be a smooth transition with greater understanding and compassion, sometimes the kindest thing we can do is to let a bird fly and fall so that it gets it'self up, though I hope my message here is seen for what it is which is a guidance to enable a smoother transition where there is encouragement and nurturing to show him that he really can fly.
In order to understand the sollution we need to understand that, this is occuring for him because deep down he has bought into thoughts which has made him believe in the illusion that he is insufficient by his own nature, he is not alone many humans go through this (largely due to brainwashing in education systems etc) and it doesn't need any extra pressure or labels from psychs to make things harder.
He wasn't born this way it's a program a mental structure which he has picked up, bought into and created over time unconsciously because like much of humanity they are not taught the basics of how the brain works, it can also be de-programmed by such methods as "self enquiry meditation" .
"to whom has this thought arisen?"
Relationships provide reflection, you are someone for him to bounce off and what he percieves and sees from you back at him is his own thoughts and fears, he sees his own reflection of his thoughts which he's just not aware yet that they are his and then when he sees them he thinks that his thoughts of fear and reality is justified to say "See there really is something to worry about" but it's all a lie because they are only thoughts, they come form future and past oriented mind which is both memory and imagination, quite simply he's not rooted in reality of presence, thought projection works like this - what you put out is what you get back it's cause and effect, action and reaction, its basic physics, it's how the mind and it's connection to the percieved "outer" reality works, (until you go beyond all identity and sense of "me" then you are as "God" but we won't go into that now as it won't serve you at this stage)
Please also refer to and read my post on overcoming suicidal thoughts behaviours and actions which you can find within my profile of past posts or you can find it in the forum, it is called something along the lines of "Feeling suicidal? then you may need to read this" when understood it contains the key understandings to prevent all suicidal thoughts and behaviours, I am also in the process of creating the cure for mental illness as a whole, there are those of us who came to this world specifically to help humanity to take the right path at this crossroads and the right path is a spiritual one inwards to understand and realize ones true nature and ones relationship with their reality, many beings are working tirelessly behind the scenes for a complete and global transformation for humanity in the right direction (inward), my own mission and work will shock many and come out of nowhere to completely change the direction of the species.

Alright well I hope that's enough to get the ball rolling on transformation at this time, additionally don't think that there is some kind of mistake for what he is going through etc, it's all part of the journey, the story, i'd suggest to ponder his astrological birthchart too, I wouldn't be surprised if he has some planets in the 8th house (which can be related to jealousy too) and a challenging yet transformative composition such as pluto with perhaps something else in his house of relationships (7th house), these were astro blueprints he came to this world to experience and go through lessons to learn, he moves through them he's not trapped by them, they are all secondary to him, he is the master of his reality he just needs reminding as do others.

Lastly I will say that the inward journey is one that only he can walk alone, but it is the way to liberation of all suffering and problems. Every challenge is an opportunity to enhance our lives.

Wishing you all the best

Namaskaram
Guiding_Light

@sol1214 Additionally i'd like to add that it may be a good idea to ask yourself "how does this relationship serve me?" is this for your highest good?, don't forget to consider your own wellbeing first and foremost, for it is only when our own cup is full that we have anything to give in relationships only then can we be our best for the other even if it's one sided, relationships work best when there is harmonious and more equal giving and recieving, a dance.

Hi @TAB, thank you so much for replying to my post. I appreciate it. I love him so much. Not only is he my boyfriend but he is my best friend. If it weren't for the bad days, we have a great time together. We study the same degree and both have the same career goals and future plans. I can talk to him about anything. He knows things I don't know, I know things he doesn't know. He enriches my life and makes me a better version of myself.

Hi @Guiding_Light, thank you so much for the in depth and thoughtful reply. I really appreciate it. You've given me a lot to think about. I want to show this to my boyfriend when he is in a good place to talk. I've asked myself plenty of times about how our relationship serves me.The good things always outweigh the bad. I always come to that conclusion. I'm still unsure what the future holds for us but I want to give him some time and space to heal on his own for the time being.

@sol1214
It's a pleasure to assist in what way I can,

It's good that your relationship is serving you, then you see there is no mistakes, even to view the "bad" times as "bad" is not the case, they are challenges, gifts, and every challenge is an opportunity to enhance our lives, we grow and learn, i'm happy for you that you have found a good friend and if that's something you feel is worth maintaining and keeping then you work through your challenges together as a team, also to look at what your role is in all of this, much of this must be connected to you in some way otherwise it wouldnt be happening and you wouldnt attract this experience or have it as a reflection, it's all connected, always takes 2 to tango, relationships are reflections, someone to see ourselves in towards greater undersanding and share reality, clear and open communication is key to both listen and speak what we see on our side of the vase, to both listen to the other and be heard.
If one is not willing to transfom and help themselves we cannot help them, that is when relationships can go no further they become stagnant and stale, however, if he is willing to sincerely look at what is goin on within him then you will both grow from this and become stronger together, it would be a shared experience of growth, understanding and beneficial transformation.

Remmember, "the future" is created from the present, it is we who can choose it, the present moment is always a blank canvas to paint what we prefer because within every given moment we have a choice of all the options available to us to choose the reality we prefer, it may be something as simple as not buying into the thoughts that say you can't choose the reality you prefer! Because that's all they are is thoughts, oppinions, ideas and they can either start a war or build a paradise, it's in our hands, we are responsible for our own thoughts our own mind and how we manage that ( I have also written posts about response-ability and how and why that is so important (no mistake in it's spelling), responsability with the definition of ability to respond not the misconception and distorted meaning of responsability as "blame" please refer to other posts if you are interested in discovering more about that, for only when we are responsable can we be in the driver seat of our life and steer it in the direction that we prefer.

so back on track now, in regards to choice in the present moment and choosing our reality,
let's say for example that you are hungry, 2 thoughts come to mind fast food or going to find a fresh and healthy salad or perhaps some fruit from the market, that choice determins the next scene of the play (all the worlds a stage - shakespeare), what we see around us in our room or house and society is a result of the past thoughts, emotions and actions it doesn't have to be our future, the eternal present moment is a refuge from the noise of the mind, you can always connect to this if you find yourself drifting away from it or think you are "losing it", then you are buying into the imagination and memory unconsciously, presence is always here, being present isn't something that needs to be done, it takes no effort, it is more about a letting go of the thoughts and ideas that arent it because they are lies, the heavy ones, right now, the heart and breathe is always in this presence, all nature is.
There is no definition of reality in this presence apart from the definitions we give and stick upon ourselves, others and our reality, it is, either by conscious or unconsious thoughts and behaviours that we choose our reality, when we make reality unconsciously it is like an artist painting blindly all over their face and all over thier room, the degree to which we can choose our picture, our future, depends upon our inner mastery and awareness which can be developed by practice in self inquiry meditation and traditional classic hatha yoga (see isha foundation and Ramana Maharshi self inquiry meditation), in the end if we are meant to be with them or not doesn't matter, we always end up where we are meant to be and where we need to go, we come into this life alone and we leave alone, all in between is a play of form, an experience we pass through.

My post on overcoming suicidal thoughts emotions and behaviours will surely also benefit both of you because although it is in simplicity to understand there is alot more to it which all would benefit to understand and how it relates to many areas of life and the overall psychology of who and what we define ourselves to be, you can find this post in my past posts as previously mentioned, I wish both of you well on your journey of growth and transformation.

Bless you,
Namaskaram

Guiding_Light

Hi Sol,

It is good to hear the relationship still does serve you. Your mental health, physical safety and emotions need to be respected and cared for as well.

Understandably caring for someone mentally un well can be draining because not only is it hard on your mental health but weighs heavily on the heart having such strong love for them.

Please ensure you are taking time for yourself to recharge. You can not support him when you are drained. I know it may seem hard at the time because he is going through it but being his partner you are there right next to him watching a loved one suffer.

I agree with above comments ensuring you find the right Dr's to help and do not just go to anyone who feels he can't be helped.

It may take a few goes but there is always the right Dr out there who has strong experience in this area.

You sound like you are doing amazing and well done for reaching out. It is not always easy to say "Hey i am struggling"

@Zed1
Yes, and he would know best about what is happening within him, Drs can help to some degree depending on the individual case and situation, however very few Dr's have lived experience of the journey on a deep psychological level of direct experience of what such people are truly going through, and it is only a matter of time that one inevitably comes to realise they are the best doctor for themselves once they understand themselves, of which I have provided the necessary means to discover that.
They are the source of their problems thier situations their challenges so it's much better to go to the source than an external so called "professional" for something which originated internally, it is far more efficient to go directly to the creator than an external critic or analyser to seek their oppinion on what one has manufactured and created from within.

Thanks for sharing your view

well hopefully you can sort something out between you @sol1214