Adult Son - Refusal to accept Help.

@Imtired Hey Imtired and welcome to the forums. My daughter has chronic depression and receives the ndis. So definitely your son can too. Dont give up with that. I agree with not putting him on the street it wont solve anything when he is obviously so ill. Can you tempt him into a private hospital? there are some really good ones out there and they are less confrontational than the public. It is a hard one as he cannot be forced into hospital unless he is a danger to himself or others ..... as the saying goes softly, softly catchee monkey.greenpeax

Thanks for your reply.

There are no private hospitals in our area, the hospital in question whilst public is brand new and a semi acute rehab ward that works with gaining independence and helping with life skills, hence the reason the referral was suggested and he has still refused. I simply does not want help, regardless of the impact on the whole family....

We have been told by the Acute Care Team that he will not be eligible for NDIS unless he has been mentally disordered for over two years and they won't diagnose him as mentally disordered. So we will need to find someone that will.

We have also been told he is not eligible for Disability support pension, also because he is not diagnosed as mentally disorder/disabled currently, even though he is obviously incapacitated!

Very frustrating.

@Imtired it is a terrible situation that you are in. There is hope however with my daughter with chronic depression after stints in hospital and years with psychiatrist she has improved out of sight. She is now in her own unit and is getting her life together. My daughter first had problems when she was 16 and she is now 25 so it has taken some time but it has been worth the wait.

Maybe a psychiatrist will be able to visit your son at home? Some do. We had a psychiatrist who visited our home for over a year for our son2 and it was really helpful with his anxiety. It cannot hurt to ask. You need a treatment team working together with you and tbh I have found the acute team (there were exceptions) to be average ..... maybe their services are just too stretched.

In any event we are here and are happy to help as much as we can. Have a look around the threads and when you are ready you might like to join in on a conversation or continue with your own. Take care of yourself. greenpeax

ps: if you want to talk with anyone in particular put a @ in front of their name and they will receive a notification of your post 🙂

Hi Imtired

I would never normally be one to give any advice and I'm not now but I feel I have to just respond as I can in case it helps at all.

My son is 35 and for now living with me. It is very difficult. He was diagnosed at about 20 with Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Social Phobia. He refused treatment. He spent his time alone. Long story but eventually I could not manage financially anymore (single Mum). He had to see a psychologist to be able to receive jobkeeper with fewer hoops. So, he went most of the time but missed many appointments which I had too pay for. It didn't help him much to be honest. He eventually couldn't ride a bus without terrible anxiety. He was in bed all day. He was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. We applied for DSP. We were rejected. A colleague with a daughter who was also quite unable to function (though my son was worse) recommended a place in Sydney called Welfare Rights Centre. They talked me through the process and we tried again. He was granted disability. That has helped a lot of course. It helped me to get him to move out and try to live independently. It means more independence. He still refuses help. In fact, he does not really agree that he has a mental health issue. This creates never-ending problems getting any support. Mental Health Crisis team have always ended up saying there is nothing really wrong or go see a psychiatrist. Well, he doesnt and I say he wont. My son puts on an act of being very together for them and they buy it. Does your son have Avoidant Peronality Disorder? This can be very disabling. Maybe you will have to blackmail him in some way to get him the help he needs now. Just do what you need to do.

good luck.

Hello, I also have a 26 yo daughter with complex mental health problems. She has had 4 admission into phyc hospitals over the past 2 years. The last 2 she was put on a compulsary community treatment order which I had to force them to put in place. As they were not going to consider it. The next challenge was medication again I had to beg them to put her on injection. Well hee last discharge was to soon she was not stable and took off to a different state. Now because she did not engage for her CCTO they cancelled it. She came back home still not well and took off again, this time she found a boyfriend who has been trying his best to look after her but he is going through hell . She has attacked him a few times to the point police are called out, yet they are not able to see she is sadly insane.

I have called the Catt team and the police for welfare checks and both came back, she doesn't appear to be sick enough for a clinician to go a see her.

She is very good at holding it together for 5 mins.

I have no faith in mental health services.

Has anyone got any suggestions ?

The law needs to change.

Give parents the power to have a professional Phyciatrist home visit a loved one who is very very sick.

Don't cancel CCTO if the patient doesnt engage.

@Bunniekins thank you for your welcome and support and for sharing hope, its appreciated.😊

Hi Sharona1,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing, happy to hear that after so long your son has financial support.

The whole system is so frustrating and stressful for Carers, its so hard to be heard. I might try the welfare people you suggested for NDIS funding help. My son has one more home visit from the Acute Team and then I am pretty sure they will close his file as they deem him not at critical point.

Our biggest problem is that we live out of town and with the Covid situation flaring up across the country too, its hard to get homevisits.

Thank you for connecting.😊