Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

OffspringNew Contributor25 July 2016, 10:41 pm AEST

Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

I recently had a family member involuntarily admitted to hospital suffering drug induced psychosis/depression. They do not know I was the person that made the call although there were numerous people worried about them I have been involved in the whole process.
Knowing it will ruin our close relationship I need some advice on what to do, if I tell them it was me I know I will never hear from them again, is it important for the patient to know who did this to them?

4 replies

1 - 4 of 4

In response to: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

AttahuaSenior Contributor26 July 2016, 8:28 am AEST

Re: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

I have had to admit my partner on numerous occasions and from what I have learnt through experience is that whilst he is unwell he blames me for having him 'locked up' as he calls it but when he is well again and we discuss it he is able to see clearly how unwell he was and why I had to do what I did. However, it is up to you as really in my view the important thing to focus on is recovery and doing so in a safe environment rather than how they got to that place. If they ask however......well that's a decision only you can make but also unfortunately in my experience the medical professionals have told my partner who put him there!!!! Grrrrrr. It hasn't destroyed our relationship but had he not been admitted then in all honesty THAT would have destroyed our relationship

In response to: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

Unknown userMember26 July 2016, 2:32 pm AEST

Re: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

Hi @Offspring,

Welcome to the forum and I'm one of the moderators here.

I can see you're facing a difficult decision here and worry you may ruin the relationship between you and the family member.

I can also hear how much you would like to be honest with the person but at the same time knowing this may not be the right time to talk about this.

Every family and every relationship is different and I wonder if you feel that you can talk to other people who were involved before making the deicsion.

Please feel free to explore different topics on this forum through the search bar. You can type in words such as `ITO', `caring for a family', `relationship' to see if what posts come up that is related to the situation you're facing.

I hope you're able to find some posts useful and people here are extremely supportive as well 🙂

Take care,

In response to: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

pipSenior Contributor26 July 2016, 4:50 pm AEST

Re: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

Hi Offspring. If you are able to discuss this with whoever is treating your family member, I would talk to them first. Eventually, when your rellie is in a better frame of mind mentally, you can think about whether to 'come clean', but for now, I'd be inclined to discuss it with the treating psych and gauge their feeling. Your rellie may 'thank' you, one day, but, at the moment, you could hinder their progress. It's a difficult predicament, but be guided by the psych.

In response to: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

OffspringNew Contributor26 July 2016, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: Do you tell someone you admitted them knowing it will ruin you're close relationship

Thank you for you're reply's it has really helped me to think clearly. Glad I posted x

1 - 4 of 4