CatherineCasual Contributor
Family Relationships
I know of someone who is preoccupied with having sex with her father. She knows this is not right. She has a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia. Is this normal? I am at a loss as to what to do!
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Family Relationships
3 replies
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In response to: Family Relationships
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Family Relationships
Incest is very tricky to deal with. It usually isnt so much about the morality of doing good or evil ... the incest taboo is common in many cultures to protect our genes and the people involved ... it may provide a short term reward, a sense of togetherness in a hostile world, but the complications are difficult to resolve.
Sex is between the 2 people involved.
My sister came to me to try and stop her incestuous relationship with my brother ... we talked it through a lot ... I could not hate her or him ... I understood we were all isolated and vulnerable ... your friend might not believe she is worthy or attractive enough to have a relationship with another male ... it is different when it is siblings ... the father is more in the wrong than the confused daughter ... it is very sad.
Be as much of a friend as you can ... be there for her if she can stop it ... if she decided she wants to ... it wont always be nice for her ... and then maybe she will need to talk about it with a counsellor ...
You have to you though ... and be honest when she is sharing with you.
In response to: Family Relationships
CherryBombSenior Contributor
Re: Family Relationships
Hi @Catherine,
This sounds concerning. Wanting to have sexual affairs with a family member may be part of broader issue. Trying to understand what this issue is may be helpful. How long has she felt like this? Are they having a relationship?
It's great she's talking to you about it. To me, it says there's a level of trust there. With her knowing that is this is not right, and her talking about this with you suggests that she might be trying to work through some stuff. Do you know if she is speaking to anyone else about this?
In response to: Family Relationships
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Family Relationships
Dear Catherine. How are you and your friend now? I hope she has been able to get some help and guidance for her obsession. Depending on her age, it could be she's fixated on her dad because, in her eyes, dad is the one guy girls/women trust implicitly. When girls are babies, they look up to dad, hero-worship him. Dad's are the first stable guy they meet, often you will hear a girl remark how she is going to marry dad when she 'grows up'. As she reaches puberty/teen she will often (unconsciously) compare dad with other guys and (inevitably), dad wins hands down. If , however, dad is encouraging this unhealthy behaviour, it might be an idea for you to discuss this with a trusted adult. To your friend, her idealization of her dad is normal, if, however, as I said, dad knows and encourages, this is not good and needs to be stopped. Is your friends mum aware of daughters fixation? If your mum and gf's mum are real close friends, perhaps your mum could try to let your friends mum know subtly. Remember, though 'handle with care'. It's an extremely delicate situation.
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