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Why can’t I stop crying

LostandaloneSenior Contributor22 July 2020, 9:43 am AEST

Why can’t I stop crying

I don't know how much longer I can keep feeling like this

all I want to do is curl up and cry

i think I sleep okish... but I wake up exhausted

i think I can go out and be 'normal' but the panic and anxiety takes over

i wake up and think ' yep I can do this' then I am suddenly a puddle

life IS on the up.... but I am still on the down

i don't feel my meds are doing anything

i don't feel my psychologist sessions are doing anything

I just feel like it's one step forward... 200 steps back

I call the help lines.... I am fine while I talk to them... but shortly after I am a mess again

i come in here and read everyone's stories and know I am not alone.... but yet I feel so alone... so lost... so sad

i have my son here who gives me hugs when he can see I need them .... but he has his own struggles.... he doesn't need mine to

i have lots of friends I can talk to... and I do.... but I don't know how they can help me either

i am just beyond help.... but I need help....

I know I am rambling.... but I need to get it all out

I am scared.... but I don't know what it is I am scared of

I am confused

I am so so sad

and I don't want to be like this

8 replies

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In response to: Why can’t I stop crying

WandaContributor22 July 2020, 9:50 am AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

good on you for sharing. It's great to put our feelings in writing so at least we have some awareness which is hard but always the first step. It sounds like a part of you is determined to have a great day and another part of resisting that as if to protect you.

In response to: Why can’t I stop crying

NatureLoverSenior Contributor22 July 2020, 10:42 am AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

@Lostandalone wrote:
I am confused
I am so so sad
and I don't want to be like this

Am so very sorry to hear, @Lostandalone 😞

Sending a gentle warm hug, and sitting with you in your pain and sadness...

In response to: Re: Why can’t I stop crying

MaggieSenior Contributor22 July 2020, 10:53 am AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

@Lostandalone I read your worry room post and went looking for you. I was pleased I could find you easily. I’m just going to sit beside you, I know those endless tears, exhaustion that has no real reason, pain beyond bearable, so you are in good hands, with all of us , stumbling through the valleys. Even though you feel alone, you aren’t.

Sending lots and lots and lots more 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

In response to: Re: Why can’t I stop crying

destructiveSenior Contributor22 July 2020, 8:24 pm AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

@Lostandalone even in your struggles you were able to comment on mine. I'm sorry you feel this. Life can be so hard ey. I don't have any solutions but just wanted to say I'm here. If sadness must stick to us the at least we can be in it together.

In response to: Re: Why can’t I stop crying

LostandaloneSenior Contributor22 July 2020, 9:36 pm AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

@destructive I am a nurturer... a carer....: when I am helping someone or listening to them... for a moment my problems no longer matter... even if it is just for a nanosecond.... as long as everyone else is doing ok in that moment... I am ok.... after that I fall apart again 🥺🥺🥺

In response to: Re: Why can’t I stop crying

destructiveSenior Contributor25 July 2020, 7:15 am AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

I hope you're feeling ok today @Lostandalone and are able to find something enjoyable on the weekend. I have been thinking of you.

Des

In response to: Re: Why can’t I stop crying

LostandaloneSenior Contributor25 July 2020, 8:22 am AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

Thank you @destructive

as per usual I have woken feeling tired and flatter than flat ( sorry I am such a downer)

i can feel the tears welling... but are determined to not let them free

i have a dear friend staying with me for the weekend... so hopefully I will be able to hold it together for her

i hope you are well 💜💜💜

In response to: Re: Why can’t I stop crying

destructiveSenior Contributor25 July 2020, 8:40 am AEST

Re: Why can’t I stop crying

Oh @Lostandalone so sorry. Life feels like a grind sometimes doesn't it. I'm glad you have a friend hopefully having them there can help life your spirits a little.

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