Back to work again, against my will?

On Friday work put out another email about how important our clients are, and how their needs should be our priority, rah rah. So, they want people back in the office again, after one week of away time due to a known case visiting the workplace. They haven't even provided updates on the health of the individual who was primarily exposed to them. I don't think I can cope with being out in the world again, on buses and trains and...out there, let alone at work.

They required us to respond "Immediately" with concerns, but it's taken me until now to actually process the chunks of text and the potential complications ahead. Anything I say or express just sounds dramatic and sooky.

I can't source a mask fast enough, I don't have anything to make my own and I'm due back on Tuesday. Sure eventually I will, but the thought of a cloth mask triggers OCD issues for me (washing and storing it correctly, only getting so many uses out of it, probably infecting myself USING the mask anyway.) Everything i've read says not to store a mask in your bag, it'll contaiminate other things, so how tf do I take it off in the office? I don't? Every time I find a chemist warehouse, or Officeworks stock of disposables, I click confirm and they're immediately sold out. People say, just go to pharmacy, just go to Aldi...I don't want to go outside at all? I'm trying to get something delivered, here, not cuddle with 50 strangers.

It's escalating way further than it did when I was actually working from home, but now I feel like if I do somehow successfully request to stay home, I am only further inconveniencing my coworkers and putting further pressure on them. They may say yes out of obligation, but then seethe at my disappearance. The email states the people remaining in the march-may closures were overworked and it wasn't fair. A few people have quit since that all hit the fan.

If they determine we are not 100% efficient at home AND we don't want to attend work, they will cut our hours and pay. I'm wondering if I would fall into that category, but I mostly doubt it. Either way I look like a bad person protecting myself, or sacrifice my wellbeing and that of my family to further benefit the business who has decided we don't function as a full team at home.

Also I have just recieved word that my father in law who has stage 4 cancer needs to visit every now and then so he can be local to medical care, and my husband has said we'll likely need to work from home while he visits to limit his exposure. I haven't even processed how i'd explain that and whether i'd make matters worse for him. I don't even know the next time he will be here, and how to negotiate that.

I'm so sick of people saying "we've been through this before" and "if we all do the right thing, there's no risk" I still have to spend ten hours a week on public transport, all of these people spouting nonsense get to sit in their cars for the leisurely trip to their desk. It's absurd.