When is it ok to refuse to keep supporting?

@FindingStrength Hi FindingStrength if your daughter is a danger to herself or others then you can call the ambulance and have her admitted. That should give you at least 24 hours .... it sounds like your daughter needs her medication reviewed and maybe a new psychiatrist if the current one is not hearing your concern. Have you applied for the ndis? something to look into. My daughter went through a long period of not getting out of bed, lack of self care etc and finally was diagnosed with chronic depression. With the right support ands meds after a few years (Yes it can take years sometimes as they are so sick) she is now living in her own place down the road from me and she is thriving. My advice is not to give up on your daughter but make sure you look after yourself too. A bit of tough love like involuntary admissions can be a good thing if nothing else it is a cry for help to the professionals. Keep in touch. Love greenpeax

Thanks @Bunniekins I appreciate the response. Latest involuntary was on Wednesday night, only to Emergency as there was no beds on the ward. I don't want to give up on my daughter, I just know I can't keep doing what we are doing.

The Psychologist & Psychiatrist both told me on the phone at separate times recently that they would like her to agree to a voluntary admission - that would be miraculous as my daughter has a huge aversion to 'intstitutions' & all of the admissions she's had have been accompanied by huge angry tirades.

I can continue to assist her, I just can't continue to live with her or condone they way she living, feels like I'm just enabling the dysfunction. 😞

@FindingStrength Hey FindingStrength can you have a heart to heart with your daughter and say to her that she needs to be admitted for your sake as well as hers. Be honest. Tell her this situation cannot continue...... I understand completely about institutions as mental health facilities can be scary places. She is 19 isnt she? That is still very young to be out on her own with a mental illness but I understand completely where you are coming from. I understand you want her to meet you half way with her recovery. My ex used to get very frustratred with my daughter when she was living with him but unfortunately when someone is that accutely ill you are dealing with the mental illness not the person themselves.

In my humble opinion your daughter needs hospitalisation. For a long period of time to assess her medications and her diagnosis. Recovery from a mental illness can take months if not years so dont be surprised this is taking so long for your daughter. I have experience of being ill myself as well as having ill children so can see both sides of the coin so to speak. Just remember it is the mental illness walking the walk and doing the talk at the moment for her. Dont give up on her but make sure that you are getting all the help possible.

Have you contacted Carers Australia? They maybe be able to give you so numbers to phone. In the meantime we are here. I am going to tag @Former-Member as she is a fountain of knowledge when it comes to finding organizations for help. Take care. greenpeax

@FindingStrength I totally hear what you are saying and understand how you must be feeling.

My daughter is also 19, has Schizoaffective disorder, anxiety. Also faced the anorexia demon from 16-18 and continues to struggle with her eating habits. We have a non sustainable living situation here too and I will never abandon our daughter but I'm not sure how much longer we can have her living under our roof. We also have 2 younger boys (11 and 14) that we need to consider. I don't have any advice except to offer camaraderie and be united as parents doing our best in what are very tough circumstances

What state are you in @FindingStrength @SoS can send links to some resources.

Now!!!!

My friend has her adopted 48 year old daughter next door in a house that belongs to my friend and the daughter refuses to afford any rent.....The mother can not live with her B.P...as you know too well how absolutely impoissible they makw life.

\to Q Cat an get an order on her on pay rent.

Get housing assistance for her so she can move out.

Try to observe her without becomming emotionally involved.

My friend is too kind......like you....but at your expense.....she is not going to get better and if she lived away you could enjoy some times with her and may be she could have help from N.i. d. S.

I have a 38 yer old Scitz with me...adopted as well...looking after them is heart wenching....she will not leave my house...I have finally after 7 years almost organized rent after supporting her totally. Life is quite depressing with these poor girls, kind and all as we are naturally, we need help to have a good quality of lives ourselves.......The only thing that helps me is thanking God it could be worse!! But that is not the answer...they need to be in their own accomodation where we can help them and then maybe enjoythem more and have people careing forthem if necessary..

Go and put your feet up, have a cup of tea and watch a funny show or do something special for yourself.!!!!!...Love Kathx0 You are just amazingly wonderfull......many people kick them out.!! keep up looking after you first and never be intemidated by them.

The other thing i find absolutely insane is not being able to find any answers re their conditions as mental health is a closed door to any relatives...We get to live with them 24/7 and it is up to us to sort them out......I am really annoyed re this aspect....I am lucky as I am 75 and have the coronary ischaemia so will not have to worry much longer.

Hi @Alma

Welcome to the SANE forums! It's great to have you here and thanks for telling the community a bit about yourself. It sounds like you have a huge burden as a carer and I hope that can get some respite and can enjoy many more years.

I'm sure the forum members will be able to offer you support, information and connection. I'm the moderator on duty right now. Feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum.

To notify another member about your posts put a @before their name as I have done for you.

You might like also to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage#community-guidelines.

Take care.

Whitehawk

@Former-Member I'm in NSW