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Tired of being alone with this

tilajContributor23 July 2016, 12:58 pm AEST

Tired of being alone with this

I want to come out of the closet
I want to own and deal with this go to place i have, called anxiety and depression
i have been dealing with this on my own Feeling like a failure when i take medication
So taking it for a while then feel better, ween of, but always stressed and the something happens and down i go
Recent event. Lost my job
First anxiety, then avoidance isolation depression then medication
I've been in this place about 5 times over the last 9 years
I'm getting older I've had enough. Cant, Don't want to do it on my own any more

8 replies

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In response to: Tired of being alone with this

DecadianSenior Contributor23 July 2016, 1:10 pm AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

Hi @tilaj

Welcome to this website - hopefully you will find some company here - we can only talk on-line but I have found it really helpful

You say you are getting older and you can't and don't want to do it on your own any more

Can you elaborate on what it is that you can't do alone anymore - because I am older and alone too - and have been for a long time - alone I mean - of course I am getting older too

Is it that you don't have someone to chat to and share the day with in the evening or is it because there is no one else to fix things, arrange things - share ideas with, travel with

It can be really lonely being alone - and I am glad you have found us

But it is not being a failure because you take medication - it is not easy - I know this well enough - but if you tell us more I am sure we can fill in some spaces with ideas, perhaps more questions

All the best

Decadian

In response to: Tired of being alone with this

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 1:46 pm AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

Its so hard on our own. These forums help a bit. We're not wired to live in isolation. Many Collective, Community focused cultures, as poor as they are, they have less mental illness & suicide than our individualist material culture. Finding someone to help (give to) is even hard here because of the lack of trust & high expectations. I have to talk to God a lot, he 'gets' it. With the world i need to Initiate x10 more than i get (it is exhausting), and be patient, tolerant & interested in people, and try harder to go out more. My dog, bed, tv & nature are so much safer. Besides, I'm still trying to conquer the kitchen sink. But i hear you. Chin up 💕

In response to: Re: Tired of being alone with this

tilajContributor23 July 2016, 1:49 pm AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

I dont want to be alone with the anxiety and depression, I want to own accept this way Ive been living for pretty much most of my life and really do something about it.

I've been blaming myself ande going round in circles

This time

I want to stay on the medication, give myself a true break, feel life without the anxt and that is what the medication does for me. I know its not the be all and have appointment with psychology for monday

Being on this site is to help me not be alone and own me warts and all

In response to: Re: Tired of being alone with this

tilajContributor23 July 2016, 2:19 pm AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

I've lived with all in-golfing fear for most of my life and done stuff (Iv'e been terrified of anyway) Iv'e read all the self help books counseling ect Now today I'm avoiding going to local shop. When I recently lost my job. I avoided everything just done what was necessary to stay alive. When the medication started to kick in and I finally made the call to the bank and of course the call wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. In fact it was the very opposite. (anxiety and depression) I have now caught up on my bills got 3 months grace with my mortgage. I hyave 3 months to pull my life together.

In response to: Tired of being alone with this

utopiaSenior Contributor23 July 2016, 4:46 pm AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

Well done @tilaj for being so pro active with your health and your finances. Yes, when I'm down I tend to ignore the bills. But just like you I have worked it out. Only 2 more bills to pay off and then I'm back on track. It's a great feeling.
I'm glad you are seeing your psychologist tomorrow. I hope this is a new beginning for you.
It can take some people a while to accept their MI (mental illness). But when you finally do, it's liberating.
Advice: just do one thing at a time.
And you can always chat with people going through the same as you on this site. All the best

In response to: Re: Tired of being alone with this

DecadianSenior Contributor23 July 2016, 5:23 pm AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

Hi @tilaj

You have come to the right place - none of us want to be alone with feelings that overwhelm us - we understand

You have been battling with that for your whole adult life - maybe longer and it is exhausting

You have three months on your mortgage - as tough as it was you did that much -

And as @utopia said - it is a great feeling when we get things back on track

So you have 3 months grace on your mortgage - time to work to get your life back in order

About Self-Help books - a friend of mine said just yesterday - it is really hard to find a Self_Help book that gives us any insight into how life will be - rather they just describe it as it is - it's a long time since I read one

And the advantage of the great people here is that they are not living in the past - but rather on today and what is coming up -

And we just care about people - this is who we are and this is what we do

Decadian

In response to: Re: Tired of being alone with this

Getting2Contributor27 July 2016, 12:36 am AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

First time i've posted.

Yeh, I'm tired too. Depression (perhaps all my life - & I'm over 50) but first diagnosed about 2 years ago after chronic pain issues began. Did a "Borderline" test which only gave mixed results. Have professional help and meds but still everyday seems like the end of the world (seems like I've failed in nearly area of my life). Seems like the unhappiness, guilt, shame, suicidal thoughts (fortunately passing thoughts now days) never ends with no real answer in sight. Find it really hard that my wife has to work to pay bills and I can't help.................only real "mind rest" is tinkering with my bike.......can only really talk to the paid professionals - others don't understand, don't care or just want you "snap out of it" and then I have to put on a "happy face" so they don't feel uncomfortable!! Sometimes I feel all mixed up, am I causing or adding to this?? Anyway I think I'm over sharing - will head to bed - good will to all.

Regards Getting2

In response to: Re: Tired of being alone with this

DecadianSenior Contributor27 July 2016, 11:32 am AEST

Re: Tired of being alone with this

Hi @Getting2

I understand what you are writing about - I have chronic pain too and know what it can take away from us

And yes - it is really hard to talk to other people about this and the depression you experience - we understand these feelings here where most people want you to snap out of it and this is not an easy thing - in fact - if you could no one would have to tell you

Of course it is hard to take the truth that your wife has to work to pay the bills - but have you applied for a DSP - you are certainly entitled to it

So - for now - you can talk to us about anything - and of course - professionals - we care

Decadian

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