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Something’s not right

Life & Friends

MysteriousCasual Contributor22 July 2016, 8:55 pm AEST

Life & Friends

I have recently come to realise that I have no friends. Those 13 years of schooling have come and gone and I was unable to make any real friendships. All I have is two people from school who I will catch up with once a year and that's it... I don't feel like we have any great connections. 3 years of uni have come and gone and that hasn't brought me a single friend. I'm always jealous of people with great friendship groups. Now I'm still to find some friends. Recently my life has been a lot less busy and this has really hit me. I have a lot more free time but no one to spend it with. I really don't feel like I really need friends , a partner would be enough. I did have a relationship about and year ago and that ended not by my choice. But that was the best time of my life . It was only one person , but I feel like I can express myself a lot more in a intimate relationship, unlike a group of friends. I'm a quite person and I really struggle to make conversation ... If I could think of things to say I would! But I never know what to say. I think people find me really boring and don't form any connections with me. Is there anyone else out there like me? 😟

8 replies

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In response to: Life & Friends

MysteriousCasual Contributor22 July 2016, 8:59 pm AEST

Re: Life & Friends

I'm not one to share my thoughts with others usually and have never spoken to anyone about this and how I feel. X

In response to: Life & Friends

TIgCasual Contributor22 July 2016, 9:38 pm AEST

Re: Life & Friends

I doubt you would be boring. Have you thought about doing some volunteer work in something you like? That is a good purposeful way to mix with other people and form friendships with a common purpose. Something to talk about. Good luck.

In response to: Life & Friends

TIgCasual Contributor22 July 2016, 9:46 pm AEST

Re: Life & Friends

I meant also to say that my best friends in my life are from my volunteering time together. We live in different places now but still my best mates. It's because we have that past in common.

In response to: Life & Friends

utopiaSenior Contributor23 July 2016, 12:45 am AEST

Re: Life & Friends

@Mysterious. I agred voluneering could be a good idea. You just need the right fit. Nursing homes nedd volunteers. Sometimes they match volunteer and friend based around similar interests. And it woukd be one on one . No groups. I think it's a bit hard for a man if he is your sole friend. Your local newspaper might and volunteer groups advertised or clubs / groups. Can you sew - your local theatre company may appreciate your skills back of house. Have a look around. I'm sure this is bound to be the right small group to join..
Let us know what you think.

In response to: Life & Friends

AgnesContributor24 July 2016, 10:37 pm AEST

Re: Life & Friends

Mysterious,

You sound like a gentle, quiet soul.

Do you have a job? Are there any after work activities ? Clubs you could join? Do you have any sporting interests? Do you have any special talents you could share with others? What about a church group or drama club? What about neighbours you could visit or help? Do you like gardening?

Try to talk to a new person every day; at the shops on the bus...

An excellent book to read is " The Happiness Trap. Stop Struggling, Start Living" by Dr. Russ Harris [2007]- make sure its the Australian Edition or else the links will all be American.

Let us know how you fare....

In response to: Re: Life & Friends

AgnesContributor24 July 2016, 10:40 pm AEST

Re: Life & Friends

Mysterious,

p.s. has anyone ever mentioned Autism or Aspergers Syndrome to you? Might be worth a look.

In response to: Re: Life & Friends

Unknown userMember24 July 2016, 11:25 pm AEST

Re: Life & Friends

Hi @Mysterious

In case no one else has done it yet: a warm welcome to our forums. Have a look around the various topics as there may be a few that interest you and you can contribute to the discussion.

It's tough when one struggles with friendships - making or maintaining them. Often its hard to know why its not working? When you are shy and quiet by personality, it's hard to talk with people as you say.

Im sure many members on the forums have had similiar experiences and will have a valuable perspective to share with you.

If you are looking to meet people around a shared interest, you could try meetup.com which is an online meeting point for group activities in many cities / locations around the world. You join a meetup group and most of them meet up around once a month to do that activity.

kind regards,

Frog

In response to: Re: Life & Friends

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 July 2016, 11:30 pm AEST

Re: Life & Friends

I actually went to a free salsa meetup near Southern Cross station ... and tho it wasnt going to be a long term thing .. it was a great buzz and lifted my mood.

There are a lot of groups to choose from ...

Hi @Mysterious

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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